thestoryofalittlesmallgirl

2008-09-28T22:14:00.000-07:00

ladies and gentlemen..

i proudly present you my new blog link

a shared account betweeen me and my bf, oni/nan

please relink meeeeeeee

http://blackk-and-redd.blogspot.com/

2008-09-26T08:30:00.000-07:00

i was just testing ;)

2008-09-24T10:58:00.000-07:00

i miss you so much
i wanna see you badly
i wanna hug you and listen to your voice badly
i love u baby..
you're my everything
the happiness cant never be restored now that you're gone
i'll never be happy ever again
i just love u too much
and i miss u badly..

i dont understand u.
u keep on breaking my heart with your mean words.
i know u really mean it.
i cant be bothered though i adore u so much.
maybe u'll understnd when u're in my shoes.
im just too tired.
today insulting, degrading and whatever..
tomorrow apologies, regrets, love and whatever...

its becoming more like a cycle..
tears and agony at night
nothing happens tomorrow.
i just wish im capable of sharing like u do to your closest mates.
i just wish i could trust mine like how u trust yours.
i wish i could leave u for good.
i really do.

another entry :)

2008-09-22T07:51:00.000-07:00

eversince ive came back from batam,
life have been great.
i did well for my attachment.
i quit my job cause i cant stand my stupid boss and manager who doesnt know how to respect ramahdan. not fasting is one things, coming late for work and kissing her darn bf like nobody's business...if i were the boss, i'll sack her for sure. stupid NUHA!

nothing much actuallly..
i just came back from JB with mom, dad, bf and bro.
bro just got his driving licsence a few months back.
hahaha, kinda heart attack with him driving.
we lost our way countless times.
but it was a great getaway.

arique's garden have gotten a new look..
gosh, i miss him so bad..
life have been different without him around..
keep wanting to buy stuff for him..
but end up never, hes no longer around.

since he was gone, many changes happened to me..
mostly mentally and emotionallly..
i may appear happy, loud, cheerful and blah blah blah..
but when i came home every night, getting ready to do my prayers..
my mind are filled with him..
i never stop praying for him
asking ALLAH to place him with the good once
to be in paradise (Firdaus) and to let his remaining and soul to be in peace
though we all know (god's will) that he'll be in the good hands

never a night i never cry..
i just miss him and i swear its so damn shittty not to be able to do anything apart from praying
know dat i never stop thinking of u every minute of the day..
know dat i love u bad and you're IRREPLACEABLE.
you're the one and only SHARIQUE i love badly and trully..

heres a peek to arique's mystery garden (as mom named it :) )

i know..
its kinda shaky then.
i promise you...NO MORE.

im sorrry to have made u go thru shittty..
to have got our friends involve..
im sorrry NAZ AND SHAZ for the trouble..
thanks for trying to understand..
especially naz..
sorry EINN AND SHEILA for making you gals worrry..
we'll avoid fights in the future!!!

to nan <3>

u know how much i love u.

dont ever let go of my hand while we're crossing this messy road.

i cant cross it without you.

now arique is in heaven, you're taking his responsibilities of being MY PILLAR.

the one i could lean on for help, support to give me endless love and care

but u know u cant replace arique...lalalalaaaaaa

you're my number 3

number 1 is arique

number 2 is mom i cant really lean on her cause shes leaning on me!!!!

i neeed u more then anything else.

i dont wanna lose u and im deeply in love with u

i dont give a fcuk to what people are gonna say its us, me and you and never them.

dont let them have a say to what our relationship is gonna be like..

we can prove them all wrong.

you're going away sooon..

we've never been apart from each other for more then 3 days..(my camp)

i dont know what to expect but we're gonna get thru this tooo..

im nervous and scared at the same time

just know that i love u and i appreaciate every thing uve done, every moment we've spent and everything we did together.

i will cherish you, i cherish u and im cherishing you.

i love u baby.

2008-08-27T05:43:00.000-07:00

damn damn damn

im off to batam tmorrow.
im so looking forward to it.

i promise i update.

taaaaaataaaaaa

im sorrrrrrrrryyyyy

2008-08-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

im superbly sorrry friends for havent been constantly updating my blog.
ive beeen superbly busy with so many stuff.
to be short, it has been superb.

i did somemore shopping with nan.
bought this asics shoes at 60 and a 3/4 at 20.
it was a nice shopping trip.
nan bought himself a sweater at 99.

i came back from jalan bahtera a few days back
zul, charles, jeremy and me stopped by at kranji memorial park.
beautiful or what, the last time i went there was during my primary school field trip.
it was superb, yet sad as many lifes were taken during the war.
i didnt join mojo for his camp for some prebytarian school as work at the office we've yet to complete.
it was a fun 'jalan-jalan' session that we had.

mr owen dropped by my work place yesterday
to give us some stuff..
somehow he looks real good yesterday..
hahaha
i owe him one coffee

i missed the movie yesterday with the gangs..
went to tan tock seng to visit nan's grandma.
i really hope she is ok cause she looks so fragile.

we then head to marina to meet the guys..
haha, we had so much fun (as usual)!!

i had loads of things to look forward too

2008-08-11T18:53:00.000-07:00

yesterday was Monday -_-
zul and me were given half day off in liue to the camps that we had attended. now we're left with a day and half.

nan fetched me from work at one.
we had superbly heavy lunch at cahaya
and started our little shopping trip.
it was entirely sponsered by nan himself.
he bought this Godfather tee.
i wanted to get one, but they havent got any for ladies.
it was $42.
cute necklaces selling at 3 for 5$.
grabbed it for sure!!
we then went to bugis..
cause i badly wanna get sommore stuff..
end up buying 2 flair skirt at 10$ and 15$
and i also get myself this little sandal at a very ridiculously cheap price; 10$

we then make our way to de catchay and catched Love Guru.
it was so much fun.

but things turns messy when we got home.
little stupid things sparked of a very very bad fite.
i stayed up the whole nyte and cried.
as a result, puffy swollen eyes to work -_-
and not so obvious eyebags with the wonders of what concealer could do.

i hate your mean words and tone when we quarrelled.
if not for true and great love for you, i given you up long ago.
if u happen to be one of those shits ive met, i dont think we would even waltz thru the first month.
we're becoming 6motnhs soon + a month of wooing
somehow sound like a total waste of our time if we decided to let go of each others hands.
somehow im so determined that it would work out the way we want.
its ours, so we have it on our own hands.
lets not make rash and stupid decisions anymore
lets not let our emotions cloud our decision making.
lets just be wise.
for love sake at least.
love you.

2008-08-10T18:24:00.000-07:00

what a blast i had for my weekend!!

lets recap everything.. :)

friday
*booked out from camp at 1130am
*nan fetched me and we went to have breakfast with my family
*we went to the cemetery to visit arique. so many people passed away. the latest one was this 4 years old guy who passed away due to HFMD. he was in the icu for 2 days and he passed away. a muslim guy, passed away exactly after a month and a day my baby went away. i just hope that the family is coping well. i could really understand how they are feeling right now. i really could.
*met up with the rest at town. there were shasha, einn, sheila, nazmi and sk8faz.

saturday
*we went to the cemetery.
*i had lunch with family. gerek or what!
*i had a great time with free perfumes at john little. i trully adore the esprit newest collection. nan, i want!!!
*went to meet nan at eunos. i waited for soooo long!!!
im superbly sorry over what had happened.
*we met at marina. it was a blast!!

sunday
*we had some functions to attend to. first it was wedding (so boring), then it was this invitation that my bro received. from some automibile company. i love the foood!! nan joined us too.
* we then went to the cemetery.
*nan, bro and me went to do some part time job. sending out newspapers to vendors. we did shin min and wanbao newspaper. haha, i was asked the same questions over and over again by vendors. 'aiyo, why you go do this kind of job. this one for men' haha..i was made to carry bundles of newspapers.

haha..thats all for my weekend. im not sure for you guys, but i really do enjoy my weekend!!

2008-08-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

ive been soooo busy lately!!!

i just came back form a 3 days 2 nights camp at jln bahtera a few days back.
it was sulky.
the people, the teachers, the instructors and of course zul.
he was so fucked up.
he was arrogant, he scolded me infront of everybody as i was unsured about many stuff..sicne it was his second time there, it must have be ok for him.
he was superbly fucked up.
im not going to another camp with him. i cant stand people who carries another balls..

i missed this year's firework!
i was late!!!
but yesterday was soooo great.
let me list out who came for our outing to catch the firework..
aishah, sheila, einn, kiki, amin, shaz, naz, ahmad, fahmy, nazmi, syawal and of course nan and me.
we also met apek, haikal, BO, FALAH!!!
i miss them sooooo much. (thank god she wasnt there!!!) wahahahahaa
an also farhan was there.
got into little mouth fite thanks to dearest shasha's mouth..and somehow nazmi and ahmad makes it worse..amin was procrastinating on whether to take out his authority card..it was funny and embarrassing as it attracts so many attention..aiyoyoyooo.
but it was s great outing!!!

upload sooon.

many pictures ive yet to post.
will upload sooon.

2008-07-31T20:25:00.000-07:00

OMG READERS!!!

check thish blog out
www.babylina.blogspot.com

hahaha...
my hair stand after reading the entries!!!
hahaha...
guess what??!!!

ITS MY GODDAMN BLOG 3 YEARS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

ENJOY!!

my day

2008-07-31T02:22:00.000-07:00

hey!!!

finally got the time to change my blog skin!!

im at work now, counting down to going home!!

had delifrance for lunch
thank you so much zul for the treat

we learnt how to laminate!!!
hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

im going to repulic for syawal's rugby match
rp against ite

i shall upload pictures later at nyte!!

hahahaaaaaaa

tatatataaaaaaaa

2008-07-29T22:08:00.000-07:00

ok shuddup.

my blog skin like shit/taik.

changing soon..

tooo lazy to change now.

my sunday.. :)

2008-07-28T22:25:00.000-07:00

hey..
i didnt go for my camp.
wasnt feeling well..
decided to skip with mc of course..

havent got nottin much to say..
my sunday was great.
nan came over to my place and we went kubor together with mom.

very peaceful there.
met sis and the rest at the cemetery..
very peaceful..

there was this burial..
the late guy doesnt have any family..
the grave digger was the once who buried and does little prayer for him.
we joined the ceremony
it was very sad..

we went home and and spent time together there
we ate so much food..
we had pizza at nyte..
and bubble tea.
i love being at home with my love once.

heere are some pictures.
too lazy to rearrage everything.

2008-07-26T23:04:00.000-07:00

overdue photos that ought to be shared with!!!

my giraffe besties 4 life
-nuh (stripe), aydil (bside his gf)
i miss them

me during attachment
gosh, i looked different..

fazzy & zul in the office

me in the warehouse

my siti faeqa.. :)

my mom, sister & sitiiii

mom <3

my brother, ogy

thats all for now

love.

2008-07-26T21:52:00.000-07:00

i had the worse ever weekend.
i simply hate it.

was looking forward to it but it all came crashing down.
i shall not elaborate.

thanks einn, sheila and syawal for really understanding what im going thru.
it means alot to have great friends like you guys in tymes of shit.

" i dont bear any grudges against you and i mean it when i apologise. i hardly apologise. i put aside my ego and apologise to you. i hope you accept my apology though i feel that im not in wrong. if you are offended by my tone, then please accept my sincere apology. but i do hope you understand what it is like to be in my position. i regard you as one of my closest friend thats why i push aside everything and apologise. so please forgive me and bear no grudges against each other. peace. "

" its hard trusting you after you lied to me twice, once in the name of Allah. i forgive you but i couldnt forget those wrong doings. i always want to make our relationship the greatest and the best. i want you to be the happiest guy. i hate it so much when you get people involved in our quarrels and fights. i dont mind you confiding but i hate it when people get too involved with it. im sure we could overcome any challenges and settle any problems ourselves. we just need time to cool down so that we could think of better solutions to tact those problems. i just hope you understand me better. "

" thanks so much for the advice. i heed it and love the overcome. you've been great and i regard you as a friend regardless of what had happened in the past. i appreaciate your concern so much. im greatly touched by it. you know whho you are pantat! "

so yeah,
getting over arique;s departure slowly. i wont forget hym and i wont stop missing hym. everynyte before i sleep, i always pray to Allah s.w.t to let his soul enter my dream. my sister (his mom) dreamt of him 2 nytes ago. she kissed and hugged hym so many times. so fortunate!!

" i always thought that you'll never leave me. you'll be faithful to me and never cheat on me. i vowed that you'll be the guy that im so in love with forever and ever. from you, i could get the great taste of innocence and sincerity of pure love. i swear i miss those tyme when i find myself waking up smelling you diaper on my face, thats a very great way of waking me up, sitting on my head. now, the nearest i could get to you is by going to the cemetery. i love going there. im always looking forward to go there. only God knows how great i miss you and how much i love you. i yearn badly for you baby. i love you. "

i love this song...

2008-07-23T19:30:00.000-07:00

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed but I have loved you from the start

Oh, But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible
So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold on to your words
Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find

Tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

2008-07-23T07:30:00.000-07:00

MR AHMAD MANNAN B SADARI!!!
u spelt my name wrongly on your blog!!!
humph!

i havent got much to update.
im doing my attachment.
chilling out everyday, even got time to take a nap!!!

im tired still..

to you;
thanks for being there for me in times of hard.
u've beeen my pillar that ive been leaning on..
i love you.

Muhammad Sharique

2008-07-18T10:00:00.000-07:00

God knows how much we miss him.
from the day he was born, he was special
it wasnt written on his forehead
but i knew he was special

from the day he was born
i was always so excited to go home and spend time with arique
i would never forget the smell of heaven he possessed when he was an infant.

as he grew into a toddler
i realised he was so beautiful
so chubby, so fair
so adorable that when he was wheeled out in his pram, people couldnt take thier eyes off him
he was quiet among the crowd but as noisy as can be when he is surrounded by the once he loves most

i grew so attached to him
that i made a vow to love him whole-heartedly and to pampered him with everything that me when i was a kid badly wanted
when i was with forever21, half of my pay goes out to him
i love him badly, so badly

he has got these pair of beautiful eyes
with superbly long eyelashes (he doesnt needs mascara or fake eyelashes)
his eyebrows is thick
he is so chubbby
he is so peeerfect in my eyes, in our eyes..

he would always wanted to follow me when i go out..
i always use school or work reasons to make him understand that he coudlnt come along..
he hates schoool.
at the door, he would always hug me tight by the neck and muttered 'sayang na'
and kiss me on my lips, hardly..
if i could give up everything i have now for that moment, i'll do it withot a doubt..

the last moments of him was the hardest
he suffered so much..
a month+ in the ICU..
countless needles, operations, medicines & suction
lying there doing nottin
if im given a choice, i dont mind taking over arique's position and take away his pain
till the very end, when i saw the numbers on the screen falls steadily
i prayed for miracle
arique passed away peacefully
so peacefully..

as beautiful as he looks
he looks so peaceful
like he was sleeping
so fair, so chubby
till the very last moment, i massage his eyebrow
like how he wanted it to be done before he goes to sleeep
i kiss him hard, hoping and yearning for HIS smell of sweat
i wanted to feel the warmth of his body, but it was icy cold..

it was an agony
but with God's will
heaven is his home when judgement day comes
his body wont be torment..
he is so love by Allah that he goes away early.
we meet again sayang.
we all gather together one fine day.
wait for us, we're working hard to get there.
for now, i know you're as happy as can be and most importantly, you're spared from the pain and cruelty of the world.

a cheerful boy
with promising future
beautiful features
diagnosed with cancer..
i dont blame anybody for anything
i accept whatever that had happened
but i couldnt help it but to ask myself
why him, the one that i love the most
the one whom i thought would never leave me
the one whom is so honest/pure and innocent
but i know, whatever that had happened, happen for a reason

In the Loving memories of Muhammad Sharique
03 January 2005 - 06 July 2008
semuer sayang arique
semuer rindu arique
syurga tempatmu sayang
insyallah

al-fatehah
a-amin

2008-07-18T09:47:00.000-07:00

hey..
it has been pretty hard on us..
we've been quarelling like almost everynyte and day..
im so stressed up..

but things have been getting better lately..
im just confused at times i guess
i know that you love me so much..
but at times i just cant help it but to feel scared and insecured..
i trust u but i just dont trust people..
im sure u understand what i meant by that sentence..

we had a little shopping yesterday..
baby wanted to get something for me..
keke, that is like after me bugging u for sooooo long!
its either victoria secret or something for me to wear..
was very dissapointed as nottin catches my attention..
we were at wisma
we passed by Chomel..
i was so determined to get my mom & sister something to cheer them up..
yeah, their happiness means a world to me..
we choose 2 broochs..
butterfly and flower..
baby paid for mom's brooch as he wanted to get something for mom
he also got his mom a little brooch..
whereas i bought for sister..
keke, they are all pink in color..
baby also bought me a Chomel necklace..
i love it sooooo much..
thanks baby.. :)

p.s. remember when we held each other tight just now?
whatever ive said to u really comes from my heart..
and i dont blame u for not telling me the truth bout what u felt about my arique..
u shud have told me though as i trusted ur instinct
so that i could be mentally ready..
but i love u..

2008-07-16T08:49:00.000-07:00

hey..

many things had happened.
it turns my life into a 360degrees different.
my faith to Allah grew sooo great
my days are spent at the cemetery
i grew closer to my family

i miss arique badly
i prayed hard every single day that he would appear in my dreams
so that i could hug him, kiss him hard
and hear him callling me
and feel him hugging me saying that he loves me
its so hard losing hym
i always thought that i'll leave him first
i even made a vow that i'll never stop loving hym
as i know he is the only guy who wouldnt leave me..
i love u so much baby..
theres no two, no three sharique
theres only one sharique whom i'll love, never stop missing and praying and looking forward to see you in heaven as that will be our home when judgement day comes.
insyallah

ive been busy with my attachment..
i wasnt make to sit in the office the whole day
been in the warehouse for 2 days straight oready..
love it there..

history repeating?
u promised that u wont lie to me again
im crying alone while u turn to someone
im used to it
im bad, i know.
im losing faith in you somehow causing me to love u less

2008-07-10T20:21:00.000-07:00

Allahyarham Muhammad Sharique bin Shazerin
peacefully passed away in the arms of his mom, dad and grandma on 06/07/08, Sunday, 0715am.
Syurga tempatnya
May you rest in peace Arique.
Insyallah
AL-Fateha

2008-07-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

im sick and tired to listening to your explaination again and again.
im trying to read between the lines.
so i just have to make assumptions.

i hate it
i hate it
i hate it

i hate you at times
i just hate you
i just wish u understand more after the torment i was put thru
after endless/countless fights
you still fail to understand

go and confide

ive had enough

2008-07-05T00:53:00.000-07:00

hey hey hey!!!

im back!!!
from a 3days 2nytes camp at st john island.
currently im with camp high achiever for my attachment.
cool or what, on my first day, they offered me a freelance camp instructor job upon completing my attchment, of course im in.
mojo, a trainer im attched to offered me and hafiz to join this primary 5 camp.
i was nervous but excited!!

well, it was siling primary school camp.
the children were so hyperactive and loud.
i was asked to look after 20pax.
they are all so cute and sweet...hahaha

day one;
loads of icebreaking games
sing along session
campfire preparation
kidnapped

day two
camp preparation
gladiator
rafting
campfire

day three
area cleaning

it was so fulfilling and hard for me at the same time..
at first i prpcastinate as i didnt wanna leaVE arique alone..
budden, this is wad i really want..

well anyway,
arique is doing fine
recovering but very very slowly..
they couldnt do cheomo on hym as his lung have yet to recover
so ya..

im signing myself up for volunteering with the children cancer foundation..
im like the play personnel..
so i would like have a one on one thing with the cancer children..
beneficial for me as my dearest arique is diagnosed with cancer and for them too..
so ya..

nothing much happened..
apart from being superbly buzy
im just focussing entirely on my family, nan and work..
and trying hard to find tyme for sheila..
u know i'll always love you and never stop missing u :)

i love u nan =)

I LOVE ARIQUE SO MUCH =)

2008-06-28T00:50:00.000-07:00

lalalalaaaaa
here i am AGAIN!

im at the hospital now
hmmm...

i went to the children cancer center 2 days back..
i went to the ward where it is specially for cancer paients.
it was so colorfull and not a speck of dust were seen.
the nurses were especially kind and nice.
i saw the treatment room.
unlike the general wards, even for class b..
this ward is way way better.
it is on the 7th floor..

it was a mixture of feelings..
like sad, happy, excited..
i guess i have to keep reminding myself
that my once happy, energetic arique is diagnosed with cancer..
even when im typing it out, it just aches my heart.
(u can just say wadever, wait till it happens to u..den u'll get what i typing now)
but again, looking at another perspective
it taught him a great lesson of pain
and never taking it for granted thus letting himself to be near to Allah s.w.t and living life to the fullest..
unlike people whoish tots are so suicidal..

to suicidal people:
try praying day and nyte asking Allah to give you cancer..
den u'll get the pleasure of pain, endless medication, operations, needles & cheomo.
and not forgetting to ask him for the "great" side-effects of chemo!!!!
cherish your life..i dont mind u taking over arique's place to take away his suffering thus lightens everyone's burden!!!!
stupid.

hahaha
sorry, that was so random

ohya, back to the cancer thingy..
there were playrooom, clean playrooom
and also reasearch library for family..
i especially love the OSIM chair..
goodness, heaven man when it starts messaging!!!
i love the boooks..they are all cancer related..

i borrowed this particular book entitled 'i want to grow hair, i want to grow up i want to go boise'
it is so touching..
it focusses on cancer patients that survive the ordeal..
what they wnet thru..
gosh..
i just wish society have better understanding of cancer and not spouting nonsense..
its not the end
infact it is the beginning of people loving their life and not taking granted of everything..

lalalalaaaaa..
gotten my new helmet..
but nan's bike broke down otw home..thank god i wasnt there or i'll get panic for sure..
i miss arique badly.
i love u arique!!!!

2008-06-27T23:47:00.000-07:00

hey people..=)
its been super long eversince ive updated.
ive been superbly busy :)

well,
ive spent 3days2nytes at KK..
one morning, my bro called
asking us to rush to the hospital..
arique is having some major breathing problems..
so ya, we went there asap.
many of my bro's family were here..
situation got tense when they started weeping..(i seriously dont understand why)
till i overheard his dad bout pitying his mom and dad(broinlaw&sis) having to go to and fro to the hospital to look after arique..
somehow his point was like..let arique go..
i got so fed up when i heard them all murmuring bout the same thingy..
i just shouted bising uh loudly(noisy) and walked off..
my mom being mom, her first grandchild, weeepp and weeppp
bro's mom pulled my mom one side and said
"sudahla, biar dier jumper mak&bapaknyer pat syurga"
(enough, let him wait for his mom&dad at the heaven)
WTF!!!!!
my mom raised her voice and hugged arique saying
"umi tak putus asa. umi, tok, ayah, mak dan semuer doakan arique cepat sembuh. semuer doakan arique tapi arique kene kuat"
(umi wont give up, everybody is praying for arique but arique have to be strong)

my gosh..
if they dare spouting nonsense to me..
they gonna get it from me..
damn damn damn!!!

readers!!!
please pray for hym
for the past few days he has been heavy reliance on the oxygen.
they giving hym the max oxy (100%)
they just reduced it by 5% (syukur alhamdulilah)

i'll update more later.

2008-06-22T20:46:00.000-07:00

hehehe..
im so looking forward for today

guess what, its the 4th month!!!
weeeeee
as u said, this is nottin to what we are trying to achieve
weee, we'll achieve it together.
insyallah.

for arique
he is recovering
apart from the breathing
as he is still trying to get use to the 1 1/4 lungs that he is left with
eqa was playing with arique's toy box..
stumble upon his kfc chicky wallet..
kekeke, rich or what..
5000rupiah note and 2dollar note.
hehe...
i miss hym badly..
watch over his video on my hp for i donno how many times.
i seriously miss u badly!

yesterday,
i met up with shasha, sheila &einn
humph, wanted to catch movie but timing stinks like hell..
kek, we played this stupid machine dat grabs and let go of the toy before it reaches the hole..stupid or what..$6 sey wasted.
thanks einn for the nail polish and the $1 and shasha, thanks for the greentea and $1 toooo!!!!!!!!!!!1
love u guys!!!

yayyay!!!
anugerah band tomorrow!!
xtech for life..
sabrina and eqaknows how to say xtech!!!
great feeling can make it!!!
insyallah!!

2008-06-18T18:11:00.000-07:00

no nan
u cant possibly play game for 8 hours.
yaw crazy.

im at the hosspital now.
overnyte here..
received some news regarding arique..
just rushed ..
i wont elaborate though.

im tired.

hatred3, where is the love??

2008-06-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

hey there..
fyi,
arique is getting fine.
there is like 2 wires left..for the breathing and for the food..
remember halik, einn, sheila, shasha..
when u saw arique being wheeled into the op theatre..
how many wires..
yeah, its gone!!!

i love my boyfriend so much.
regardless of what people are all saying, i guess *kening naek*
he is mine, and mine..
i mean, what more can i ask for..
if i want company, he is there..
if i want love, he showers me all..
if i want attention, he gives me all..
i get whatever a girl could ever wish for from hym.
people are just green with envy..
is that the right phrase to use??
hahaha...nvm.

i went to school just now..
i gotten my place at high achiever as a camp instructor..
starting this 28th..
i cant wait.

after that, we went to marine parade to do some shopping..
wanted to grab some tops, but semuer like so common sey..
instead, we gotten thish same pair of slippers..
hahaha, i swear its nice!!!

wanted to catch kungfu panda..but the showtime sucks..
well anywae..we went to eat and blah3..
and we did somemore "little shopping"
like getting my hair wax, some freshener for the helmets, baby powder and drumsets for eqa!!!!
hahaha...
im getting a top tml..i need it badly..
hhahahaha..

i love the time with my boyfriend..
haha..
i love u badly.

i miss you shasha, sheila, einn, shaz, naz, aydil, rasul..
i love you people badly..
the greatest friends ever..

most of all,
i miss my arique..

i miss you

2008-06-12T10:05:00.001-07:00

arrggghhh...
never have i miss anyone like i miss you..
like so badly but yet feel hopeless cause couldnt do anything to see you..
being the nearest i could get to you is also 2 doors.
i miss u la arique

ohya, thanks baby for the body splash!!!

finallly, making a come back...

VICTORIA SECRET!!!

sayang, bukan pure seduction!

damn damn damn..

yeah sheila, it was suppose to be our trademark.

well...
i love you sheila..
im sorry to have caused that such great hurt on you..
to have made you cry..
like the biggest sin i ever did to you..
i sorry..though apologising doesnt really make any different..
but im really sorrry
i love u alot.

met up with dearest nan today..
he was late..
he overslept..
stupidwak, make hym extend untill 11 am..
11 to 11..haish..
sungguh hard working ekh..

we went off to marine parade library to get our doses of games..
haha..
i find it gerek over there..
but he doesnt as there isnt much of what he likes..
hmmm..but he ended up with 4 games wile i settle for 2 games and 2 storybooks.
=)
we then had sup tulang.
haha, gerek pe makan sup tulang ngan bf..
we were both wearing white..so u could actually imagine the mess..
but atually, not that messy after all..

we wanted to catch kung-fu panda..
but decided to spent some quality time together..
hahaa..
it was great till u tell me the truth..

somehow my heart sank knowing that SHE msged you..
asking bout some shitz..it was so random la..
like "booo.." check out his friendster..
whatever sey.
like my sis said..
"nie semuer trick, i have all this in my pocket"
lalalalaaaaa...i know.
childish as it seem..
i msged her..
"i dont really quite appreaciate u msgin my bf bout some random shitz..."
i did ask her to delete off his number..
haha..like seriously, i wont risk my bf to some ***** and ya, wont risk myself to be some bahan to my ex like in the past.
so ya, get my point???
=)

well..
nan became a ghost rider otw home..
tau pon takot ekh..
hahahaaaa, nearly flew off from my seat..

i love you i love u i love u
i love you i love u i love u
i love you i love u i love u
hmmm, kan dah tercopy paste.

2008-06-11T08:06:00.000-07:00

i had a very sweet dream this morning..
i dreamt that arique coming into the room shouting my name
it seems that he was running away from something
i guess his mom trying to persuade him to go to sleep
he went up my mom's bed and kept on repeating
"arique nanak tido, arique nanak tido"
which means arique doesnt wanna sleep
i was very happy to see hym
but when i looked away
i was awaken..
my heart ache though

my whole body was tipsy with the help of Chlropheneremine to put me to sleep
not really overdose, just 3 pills jek

so yeah, had a huge huge huge fight with bf..
wont elaborate
but it was so fucked up that it dragged to the next morning (that is today)
i was so fcuked up..
he was more concern about calling my gf then trying to call me back after i slammed down the phone..
i swear i was so pissed off with bf and gf..

"sorry to have shouted at you, i appreaciate your help to make things better
i tot u know that i hate 3rd parties trying to mediate everything..
well i just hate it and i hope you understand
sorrry for the harsh words..u know i love you."

well anyway..
ive yet to get a place for attachment..
fuck fuck fuck

and yeah..
arique was put back to sleeep..
haish
no point updating..
i just miss hym badly..
hardly have any energy to go thru my days up ahead..
to make things worse..
i have other problems that is not suppose to be happening..
what a fucked up life im having..
fuck it..

arique baby

2008-06-04T07:51:00.000-07:00

hey there..
i didnt go to school just now.
im just so super duper tired for the past few days, weeks maybe.
furthermore, i was fasting
slept till 3pm just now.
mom woke me up, asking me if i wanna tag along to the hospital..
of course i wanna come.

reached there..
we werent allowed to go in to visit arique.
at this stage, he was easily infected.
they even put up a sign saying "strictly no visitor, parents only"
his favourite elmo was at the foot of the bed.

arique is doing fine
they removed the tumour on monday
he is a strong boy..
out of 10 who underwent the operation, only 2 survive
our prayers were answered
thank you Allah s.w.t

right now..
the dialysis is going well
they have plan B if the dialysis is not working on hym
so many tubes and wires being inserted to hym..
some medicine like morphine and adraline were present
its to make hym sleep i guess..
to take away his pain..

its gonna be long for hym to recover..
they make sure that arique is 100% fine before discharging hym..
my god, i miss hym badly..

the last tyme i brought hym out..

my family were sitting at the waiting area..
we reminisces bout the past..
the last tyme i brought hym out was to my cousin's daughter's birfday..
he was soooo hyper active..
every morning..
when i wake up, i would be greeted by the sound of hym comin into our room
asking mom to turn on the tv so he could catch his fav shows on cartoon network
how i always ask hym to hug and kiss me before i go to skewl..
and how at tymes he sent me to the door
and how he replies 'love you' when i say that to hym..
how he calls me 'na'..
how i bait hym to kiss and hug me hard everytyme he ask for a favour
and when he does that he would say 'sayang na'..
i miss hym badly
and now, just by typing it out..
it puts a smile on my face and tears to my eyes..
na rindu arique la..

his party gears for the birfday
that he insists on bringing that day

updates..

2008-05-31T09:47:00.000-07:00

hey people..

arique could get rid some of the toxics from his body
they could not go on with the dialysis treatment as there were tooo much blood clot at the major vein (i guess)
thus, the help of cheomotherapy that shrinks the tumour..
enables fluid to be exit from the body..

he is doing a little bit better then yesterday
his lips weere moving
i feeel a little bit bettter..
so ya..
thats it from now.

refer to shasha entry
the yellow mustard font.
thanks baby.
thanks blood
thanks einn and sheila
thanks darlin oni.
ily.
=)

arique

2008-05-30T08:25:00.000-07:00

hey there..

it was shocked from the beginning of the day..
dad came home early from work after getting a piece of bad news from bro..

it was cancer..
it spreads, of course
they gonna do the operation on hym with 50-50% chances
my limps went soft after hearing the news..
it took me quite awhile to swallow the facts..
when it hit me, i felt hopelss&scared

i just dont wanna lose you

we rushed to the hospital..
i swear i pity mom and eqa..
she was still clueless..
till kak zeela told mom everything..
my heart sank..
i just dont know what to do next..
who do i turn to for help..
who can help..
i realised that only Allah s.w.t can help..

we sent arique's name to a few mosque..
all together pray for hym..
and i guess Allah s.w.t answered our prayers..
after the friday prayer..
doctor finally came out with some news..

it is cancer, but it is only around the lung area..
it hasnt spread to the brain, heart..
the only problem is that there is a blood clot at arique's larget vein, near the musles..
it prevents hym from urination..
thus, affecting the kidney..
causing water retention, explains the swollen body parts..

arique's eyes,lips were so puffy..
theres wires from every opening of the body, apart from the ears..
he could hear us..
they perform cheomo and dialysis on hym..
they perform the surgery is the fucking tumour shrink to reduce blood lose as there are also internal bleeding..
there were so many surgeons from different hospitals..

Ya Allah,
if u could hear our prayers..
please
give arique the strenght to go thru this ordeal that u had put us thru
give us the strenght to overcome this together..

i want hym back home.
i miss his laughter and smile
i miss his nosiness in the morning..
i miss his smelliness
i miss his glares
i miss his spoiltness
i miss pampering hym
i miss hym
so so much
i want hym back..
Ya Allah..
Amin..

2008-05-29T09:16:00.000-07:00

if i cry out loud, will things ever get better?
if i promise i'll be good, will things ever get better?

what do i do now?
i never felt so helpless. hopeless. and everything
i hate lying to mom
but i know im doing this for her own good.

to the little guy im so in love with, the one i couldnt live without
" if i could trade places with you, i would w/o a doubt..
if i could do anything to take away your pain and suffering, i'll go all out.."

my dear baby..
u gonna gt well soon..
there is a cure, i'll be strong for you
we'll be strong for you

i realise though
you're my happiness
you're my everything
im willing to lose everything except you
i couldnt live without you
life will be so damn meaningless without your smile and your laughter
the way you call me..
my goodness..
one thing for sure..
if you go, i'll come along with you.

i love you baby
i love you so much my little guy
i love you arique..

2008-05-28T07:49:00.000-07:00

*afew weeks back*
help...

everybody..
friends or foes or stranger or anybody
coming across this blog..

pray for my dearest, beloved nephew
muhammad sharique

there is something strange growing inside hym
it could be puss, from the previous operation or it could be something else
either way, it has to be remove
help hym go thru this ordeal by praying hard to God

pray that he will be discharged
pray that he gets well soon
pray that this ordeal go away asap..

he is sick of being sick
i mean, he is only 3 years old
what more can he ask for..

please help..

thanks guyz..

...

2008-05-21T09:49:00.000-07:00

it was a bad start.
had a very heatty quarrel with oni
both, ego larger than Earth refuse to give in..
i think it is more of me who refuse to listen and talk.

i cried till i got nottin to cry
if tears are charged like water
confirm bill melambong mcm bill shasha

i was being ridiculous
my fault. entirely actually
but me being me..refuse to apologise and talk things out nicely.

in the morning, i missed my first aid thingy at 8am.
i dragged myself to skewl with puffy & reddish eyes and pale face.
i was a walking corpse
i misss the bus and waited freaking long for it..
i miss the train which has andrew and taqim
and shasha boarded the same train with them -_-
i hardly amend my project and saw that disappointment face from watie.

went to buy mom's food from siam's kitchen
and search the whole mall for arique cheezy ritz biscuit
i boarded the wrong bus home -_-

things gotten a bit better when i found arique's biscuit near the mama shop.
my whole body were aching..
eyes just gotten redder..

thank god..
those toddlers at home make me happy.

was about to get ready for work when oni ring me..
a mixture of feeling..
shud i meet hym and talk things out..
i love hym..
of course i do mit hym.
he wanted to fetch me to work
but kesian sey..
bedok boonlay
boonlay bedok -_-

we met at town instead..
haha..
things got so much bettter after that..

we had our rings polished
we wanted to have our dinner at ramen 10..
but i couldnt stand jap food..
we shop..
bought baby a shirt from WH..thish shop at taka.
bought something from cotton.
sheeesh..i wont say wad!!!
den..
i wanted thish skirt and top from fox..
he wanted to get it for me..
but if oni does..there goes my ripcurl dress..
so ya..
we went kinokuniya..
and gotten thish book bout fasting in rahmadan
i wanted to get the translated version of qur'an
but somehow doubted it..
the publisher and stufff..
nah, dont wanna be mislead.

we had lunch cum dinner cum supper at teh tarik..
i pay!
you deserve more then dat..

so ya..
my day
=)

i love you

2008-05-20T07:39:00.000-07:00

to you

during the camp i notice you,
i initiated the conversation with u,
i asked u to massage my legs
and i massage yours in return of the favour u did to me.
i swear my legs were superbly aching dat day.

well u in return,
disturb me with the no pants thingy
haha
sorrry la, but my tops are all way too big eventhough it is xs
nak salahkan saper kan?
global warming?
K DIAM
kekeke...familiar?
and added me on msn..
asking me an 'intelligent' question
u know who am i
when your nickname is clearly stated that yaw oni!!!

i enjoy chatting with u..
hours on the msn
till we exchange number?

hahaha..
guess what..
u brought me chocolate milk tea
while i secretly wanted to get u oreo donut??
hahaha...u tipu!!!
sweeeet sey..

and the story goes on from there..

"life have been so different eversince you came
u turn everything around
u made me see the other perspective of life
and above all
u definately change me for the better
because of that love that could never be exchange for anything in the world and that sincerity u possess"

im so in love u baby

syukur alhamdullilah

2008-05-15T08:04:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY EINN

you know how much i love u

and u know how much we love u

we hope u had great fun just now.

sheila put in so much effort!!!

may what u wished for just now came thru

im blessed to have a superbly great friend

i love u so much!!!!

life is beautiful

2008-05-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

hey ho ppl..
i know my past few entries has been very wordy..
im just too tired to connect the usb cable from my hp to my lappy since my bluetooth has been disabled.

on tuesday
i went to catch Anugerah Band at the mediacorp studio.
rasul, einn, sheila, oni, shaz, shasha and me of course came to give support for x-tech.
haha..
the long walk up was worth it..
they definately blew away the whole crowd.
drummer mcm mengamok!!!
and vocalist sungguh baek!!!
best band for the nyte
normal la, tengok saper ader dier..
lalalaaaaaaa!!!
joking kae!

wednesday was ok.
didnt go out.
was with baby, shasha and akmal all the wae till baby starts work.
hahaha..
i went out with mom when i got home..
bought myself some important toiletries!!!

today, baby graduate from ite college east
haha
shaz, naz, oni waited till im done with odr lesson.
went home with baby to grab his stuff
and head back to tampines to meet the rest
aydil botak his head.
looking good as ever

we bought cake for einn.
aydil's treat.
took my pay from giraffe
and celebrated dearest EINN bdae at istana park.
we had so much fun!!!
click on einn's blog to get the pic.

life is beautiful.
oni made it so magical and meaningful.
u know i love u so much
and words cant describe.
and yeah..
no other guys could ever take ur place if u were to let go of my hand one day.
yaw the greatest
yaw one in a million
i love u nan.

btw
nan is oni
oni is nan
incase u guys got it all mixed up
=)

fcuking pissed

2008-05-13T00:55:00.000-07:00

to you little C O W A R D
u dont have to be mad over my words
why do you even bother
do you?
right?

why have you got so much to type
when i ring u up, u rejected my calls?

listen here u little !@#$%^&*
i never regretted so much in my life.
i regret rushing all the way to cityhall to come to your aid when u were crying like one freaking crazy little !@#$%^&* at there.
only cowards never admit to their wrong and pushes the blame to someone.
saying that bout me, well get a mirror
and taaadaaaa, u realise that yaw talking bout yourself.

and i shud have known better then making u as one of my best
shud have listen to my classmates bitching bout u
and shud have known better before giving u dat chance to prove them wrong
fyi, u didnt.

fyi, do you know that you are really THE THIRD PARTY from the very start?
it has beeen owaes be me, watie and shasha..and the guyz
and there u are..
coming in into the beautiful picture to make it more beautiful
fyi, u ruin it

but i guess, they seeen u !@#$%^&* side
and guess wad..
they warn me..
and ive got myself to blame for being STUPID.
but no longer now, fyi.

and ya,
let me get this right..
yaw with us coze other hates u
and mainly because he is there.
so ya..
thanks for using all of us.
=)

haaaaappppyyyyyy!!!

2008-05-12T09:03:00.000-07:00

weeee!!!

for the past 2 dayz, it has beeeen superb!!!
sorrry guys, no pictures.

mothers' day celebration was normal.
guess mom's greatest present if to see arique eating his first bowl of porridge eversince he was hospitalised
things are getting better and he is recuperating at home.
so yeah!!

met baby at beatz merchant to catch his jamming session.
haha..it was coool.

welll...
monday was great actually.
met oni to get the anugerah band tickets over at bestway building.
we are presented 4 tickets each.
so yeah..
einn, sheila, shasha, nazzy, me, baby and maybe rasul and partner going tonyte
im so excited!!!

after getting the tickets..
we went to cahaya to have our breakfast cum lunch cum dinner
we toook 174 home
i ws sleeping the whole journey..
keke..sorrry if u neck aches!!!

we dropped by jurong point..
with the intention to just walk around cz it seems ages since i last went there.
i wanted the elmo bookmark, the white tube dress and a golden hair band
we also sign up for the premium library membership which cost us 21buck
me halver halver with oni..
keke..
he bought 2 polo tee from giordano..
he bought YELLLOW TEEE!!!

baby send me home..
bump into dad..
oni was invited in..
but he refuse..
why would he when he got 3 games waiting for hym kan..
haha

FAZ LOVES ONI

2008-05-07T08:10:00.000-07:00

had a great day i must say today
well, yesterday was equallly exciting and great

baby fetch me from the hospital
we went to downtown to catch iron man
gerek pe over there!!
just the cinema la..but overall the mall is not impressive

well
anyways
iron man is a MUST to catch!!

me and baby went sheesha
wanted to catch anugerah band live..
but friend only has got 1 ticket..
so pass dat idea.

we reached arab street, just in tyme to catch the result on television.
was superbly excited when i saw x-tech and opurzit youth
i was the only girl there shouting when they announced dat x-tech made it..
hahahaaaa
would have been better is opurzit youth made it

anyways

we had shisha and wedges
and no shasha..
no more treats!!!
only yesterday!!!

arique is back home today
yay!!! double joy!!!
and im so looking forward for tml dragon boating thingy!!!
kekeke...
im so happpy...

and baby..
i love the tyme we had together
im so looking forward for the future dat we had planned
insyallah kae
i love u so much
and still..
it feelss so good to love and be loved
so peaceful baby

CHECK THISH OUT READERS!!!
THE VIDEOZ!!!
I DONT CARE, U GUYS HAVE TO CHECK IT OUT!!!
LALALALAAAA

*x-tech*

CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!
http://xtech.multiply.com/video/item/30/Anugerah_Band_-_Audition_Bishan_Juntion_8.
Anugerah-2nd Audition.mp4

2008-05-05T06:57:00.000-07:00

vote for

X-TECH

OPURZIT YOUTH

at Anugerah Band

all the best bro, razzaq and farouk!!!

2008-05-05T06:40:00.000-07:00

time check: 940pm

im so effing sick now
beeen at the hospital from 3pm+++
flu and headache
awaiting bro in law to fetch me home and to send my sis over

arique baby is fast asleep
he has been sleeping since 7++pm
he was cooperative and playful

bro and wifey came
bro and gf came
hahaha
tml again, here i am..

dont get me wrong..
im not complaining..
i rather be here with arique and be somewhere else but my mind is with arique
just wanna hym to get well fast
i miss my oni..
cant wait to see hm tml
maybeeee

my sunday

2008-05-05T00:11:00.000-07:00

what a day it has beeen
i only work for 1hour and 40mins
i was effing sick
i clock out and head home

toook some medicine and went to sleeep
couldnt reeallly sleeep
so got ready to meeet baby at bedok!!!

from bedok, we toook bus all the way to cityhall
how great public transport can get

well anyway

met arep, shaz, naz, kiki and amin at popeye
we were so touched when naz said he is waiting for us
when we came, we were greeted by bones and tissues!!!
thanks naz!!!!
yaw the man!!!

naz and me had a little talk..
like finally he asked me..
and finally im ready to tell..
so yeah
i hope u understand

we head to marina mac to meet shasha
yeah, it was great
kinda miss talking to u
hopefully things get well slowly
=)

nazmi and pyan joined us for a while..
haha, its beeen so long peeee

baby and me head to bugis..
i love it..those long walk and bus ride..
enables me to talk anything under the sun and the mooon and the stars and the sky..
saw the band that he was gonna perform with
they are like super nice to me..hahha

the jamming session was great
potential band
haha..my darling could screeech very very wellllllll
the last attempt was so near to perfection sey

head home after that
it was a great day

some photos at beats merchant =)

my saturday

2008-05-04T00:19:00.000-07:00

hey theere..
today was boring
and it was kinda bad.

not really dat bad day at work neither it is fun
normal?
i want my dose of fun but it is not really important

i was with aydil thru out the half a day at work
haha
we were reprimanded together by thish freaking chinese manager..
trying not to be racist but i do admit, most that i knew suckz!
so yeah..

met bf and the rest at town..

was kinda dread but drag myself to town

i was just so tired..

didnt join their normal routine of dinner and hanging out

sick and tired of routines i guess

well..met sheila and einn and parted with aydil..

we chilled at wheelock

and saw ahmad!!!

it beeen so long seyyy

blah blah blah

went home with oni round 9++

was superbly sick and tired

we toook a long bus ryde home..

me and tat ahmad!!!

i loook shitttyy

i love u bie

2008-05-02T00:20:00.000-07:00

well...
work was superbly slack yesterday!!!

nottin much apart from potato chips, snoooze, lunch, chit-chatting and chilling.
half of the tyme, seeing aydil at the smoking corner
the other half was chilling with me at the upper deck and he gardening!!!

after work, head to bedok to meeet dearest oni
was suppose to have the bike washing day
but i was kinda tired and sick

we went to meet sheila and einn darling at marina mac instead
we chill there and head off home

yesterday photos!!!

my friday
today..
woke up at 11 to get ready for our little sentosa trip.
me and oni of course
i was late, make baby come all the bonavista to fetch me..

we got there..
haha..the sun was scorching
he hates sun..(which i dont understand why)
ok pe jadik gelap cket

it was superbly romantic..
just the 2 of us..
haha...
i enjoyed your company so much

initally plan was to catch a movie..
but it was like full or seeling fast
we head to far east for dinner
den meet the rest at marina mac
baby send me home.
gosh, how i love taking the public transport with u

" love that moment, that kiss means so much to me
yes, indeed..it feels great to love and loved..
i'll never give u up for anything in this world
i love u baby =)"

2008-05-01T03:29:00.000-07:00

Happy 19th Birthday Aydil Haqeem

i know thish entry is posted one day late

but at least at 0009 i miss call u

and thanks for tat conversation last nyte

it means alot..and helps alot

hehe

may alll your wishes come true

may life be a smooth and sweet journey

i'll always pray for u

ive realised one thing..

ive beeen working for the last 4 days

tml is the 5th

and then saturday get back to work.

working at giraffe is super cool

no favouritism, no nothing
tyme doesnt seem to draG sey!!

well..

i overslept

and i rushed but when i hit the ground floor of my house

i realised that i have only 15 mins to get to skewl

even with oni's bike at 140 wont be on tyme

so, hit 14th and went home.

with arique and eqa (where my joy lies)

oni rang me..

we decided to catch a movie

we met at round 2pm

and we went to watch harold&kumar at cathay

we also catch doomsday at cineleisure after work..

it was a simple date

yet gerek..

sempat pegi keje

hahaha

im sorry baby for yesterday
ive gotten it all wrong
i know yaw trying to help and cant help feeling guilty
but, whats the point of apologising and wish dat u hasnt done that
it happens, like u always say..shit happens
i just need tyme to cool down and be away from everybody
i just need tyme to really absorb and convince myself tat nottin happen
then i could be normal.
i need loads of tyme

2008-04-30T04:11:00.000-07:00

time check, its now 4.00am.
i cant sleeep.

i give up.
i give up everything.

to u:
as i say,
i gotten your points.
i know what you're trying to say.
i beg u..dont deny of your points dat ive gotten.
im not stupid neither im born yesterday

it just seem so had talking to u
trying to maake u understand what i really felt.
it just seems that you're trying to make me feeel better
by agreeing to the point dat u hardly feel its right.

im over-reacting right?
im just being hyper-sensitive
i cant even accept the fact that she was the samaritan of the night for you.
trying so hard to make u feel better
and when she does
i feel that she hurt me
how stupid am i right..right
im so stupid to have wrong her
i shud have thanked her instead for giving u those words of encouragement dat makes u feeel ay way better rather then tinking that its tryin to bring me down.

im so fcuking stupid
im so fcuking fcuked up

why bother right
why bother trying to make u understand ryte?
how can a stupid, fcuked up kid like me make u understand my feelings ryte?
no way ryte?

i just wish im dead
i swear...i just wish im dead
if committing suicide is not a sin, ive done it

again..
what is the point
of making anybody understand
when u nv do.

time check: 4.11am

2008-04-30T01:24:00.000-07:00

my day was oryte
was superbly shock dat oni came to hpl to collect some stuff from ms chong.
yes, was expecting hym
but not la sampai dpn class kan.
space out..
coulndt help it but to yearn for his hugs and kisses when saw hym
initiate to meet hym
and yeah, things goes out well..

we catched movie aft my lesson ended at cineleisure.
forbiddeen kingdom was gerek uh.

went to work
again, due to nottin to do..
my mind wander off somewhere
where?

to my problems.
my friends there began asking me
why so lifeless?
why so sad?
why look so tired?
wadz with those eye bags?
are u sick, u look pale..
lalalalalaaaaa

confided to some of my closest friends there..
same reply..
like..
these is upz and downz of life..
u'll come across thish ppl some day..
wth..
wad else..
hahahaaaa

to u:
i wanted badly for things to be 'norm'
but i cant..
i still love u, but i just cant forget those msges i came across.
i wish i hasnt
i kiss u just now for the sake of friends and everything dat we had together.
things just cant be normal.
if yaw disappointed den im way way beyond hope.
a close friend, like sister i treat u..
and to see those words coming from u..
just left me speechless
see, you shud know me bettter den anyone
by those words dat u typed to hym..
yaw no different from those motherfcukers/strangers who judge me based on how they thought of me turning out to be from the outside
den, i dont see the point of regarding u even as a friend.
get what im trying to say??
haish.
let the whole world see how bad am i to have made u cry..
but u dont know how much u broke my heart, how u push me off the edge, how much tears ive shed
and definately our friends dont know, let alone the whole world kan?
tkper la..
this is life.

let ppl misunderstand me
coze i get sick of trying to make them understand my situation
i get sick of proving to everyone dat im capable of blah blah blah..
i swear im sick of everything.
haish
=)

2008-04-28T19:54:00.000-07:00

nothing much to update

dayz have been mundane and stress for me.

never mind

burying myself alive with my job.

at least it keeps me occupied and definately keeeps my mind off from the stress..

im tired

im sick

im down

my saturday&sunday

2008-04-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

normal weekend.
no blasst no nothing.

im just so fucking down now
could hardly sleep
im now all alone in the library..

arrgghhh..
just leave me alone
betrayer

thanks boy for the whole loadz of shit
thanks gf, i wish i hasnt stumble upon it

to aydil, sheila & einn

u were there for me ytd.
i saw ur msg aydil, thanks so much
imy
the hug and kisses was so comforting
ily sheila and einn

my thursday (late entry)

2008-04-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

i had great tyme today
keke..
i was late for class...
dearest baby woke me up at 730 am sedangkan i have to be up by 630 am.
lesson is at 9 but the travelling and stuff takes ages!!
i was late, reached class at round 10 am and started doing my assignment.
my day in skewl was fruitful and fulfilling.
during my outdoor lesson..
i had my fitness test which means i have to swim 4 laps and ran 3 rounds of the field
its like biathalon
haha..i did it in 19mins53sec..
good on first trial?
i completed it
and i was superb proud dat my dearest shasha, elmo and watie completed it.
goood job gfs!!

and then..
meet baby at tampines
he was suppose to fecth me from skewl but poor shasha dont wanna be alone.
so accompanied her..
we had bubble tea while trying to settle on where to go for bowling in the evening.
we all settled for marina instead of esp
we had lunch cum dinner i guess at century square.

shasha went home to get change wheareas me and baby make our way to marina.
it was so much fun at the bowling alley..
so much laughter..
shaz was forever with the longkang..
oni with the jumping before throwing
kiki with the slow and steady ball
shasha with the step mcm paham tk tau maen
haikal with the opz, lagik cket jatoh
and me was the critic and the loudest to laugh upon everybody mistakes!
poor naz have to go off b4 we even start the game..

*promise photos*

2008-04-23T19:00:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 2 MONTHS!!
kekeke..
i know, only 2 months
but who cares?!
kekeke..

for u
yaw the best thing that ever happen to me.
i love u badly and never give u up for anything in the world.
i love u baby
=)

p.s..
will upload more pictures all thanks to my webby..
gtreat photos otw.

2008-04-22T08:45:00.000-07:00

TO LOSERS WHO HAVE BEEN READING MY BLOG..

THANKS BABE

U GUYS ARE THE BEST DAT COULD EVER HAPPENED

AND STOP BEING A HYPOCRITE

FCUK OFF KAE??

MWAH MWAH MWAH

sweeets

2008-04-22T08:21:00.000-07:00

haha..
went put with my oni 2 dayz ago..
err, actually yesterday tooo
keke

it was like the best date ever..
it was superbly slack at first..
we went to the Singapore Flyers to check the place out
it was kinda quiet but the garden is superb la..

we were suppose to meet kiki, amin and the rest
but we didnt turn up coze i guess we're just tired..

we head to vivo instead
we had nanchos, apple juice and kinder bueno..
keke..
i love the tyme we had together.
superb!!!!

we went to catch Funny Games yesterdat..
i would rate it 2-3/5
hmmm...no comment..
we head home straught after dat..

and now..im at mcd
doing my assignment for sports admin..
damn network at home!!!

hope einn had a hell yeah at work!!!

love u oni
=)

my saturday+++

2008-04-20T01:35:00.000-07:00

ohno..
i donno where to start

i woke up in the morning due to electric stopage at home.
it was so warm
stupid council, saturday they chooose to shut down the electricity of the whole block.

went market with mom and gotten free breakfast!!
it was so nice going market with mom
=)

after that we proceed to sheng siong to buy loads and loads of food and groceries!!
i just love the time with mom.
we talked on so many things.
i bought my patellar guard.
and mom gonna get me mass gainer!!!
such a fulfilling time
i love u mom
=)

met up with naz and shaz and we proceed to town after.
so long since i last went towning
suddenly recalled of my past lifestyle
towning is must then
being ''in the group''
and hanging out with no aim then
no more taka, no more no more
hahaaa

met shasha, zaki, kiki, amin, gerald, einn, sheila, arep, oni and aydil.
it was so much fun going out together
=)

we went luckyplaza to play pool.
the game between shasha and oni was the best!!!
we applaud and cheered loudlly when they score.
haha..so much laughter tau!!
haha..
darling shasha, u bring my oni to lorong 14, i make sure i squeeze ur tits hard!!!

den we all proceed to the arcade..
damn..shud have more daytona over there!!!
we all play at one go and challenge..
we were like the noisiest!!
gotten free lollipops from the kind aunty

went to paragon to pay my dearest at delifrance.
i miss you guys so much!!

baby sent me home
and i simply love the time we've spent.
i know sorry wont make much difference.
i wont apologise but i'll make it up to u.
i love u.

p.s.
gotten to know a freaking shocking fact
how the fcuk is dat w h o r e related to my brother gf.
explains the shits im receiving from hym
fcuk u whores
fuckers, they havent got better things to do..
and she still got the fuck shit to angkat my mom
and continue being a fcuking hypocrritess and got the shit to step into our home.
tak tau malu ekh?
fcuk..im gonna fuck ur mouth shiffuck if i know if dat shit comes from u.
FUCK yourself
and continue fcuking bout me.
i heard alot about u..time will tell
=)

im officially tired.

2008-04-13T01:36:00.000-07:00

hey hey
saturdae was fun regardless of work.
met oni dear at 2pm
im late

we went to catch a movie at cathay.
i seriously love the seats
dont we baby??
=)

street gangster was gerek la..
but the killing2 part irks me so much
i stilll wanna catch my pingpong film.
=)

report for work at 7 instead.
i guess i was just tired..
work was fun
but tiredness got over me..

finished at 111 and dread going home alone..
took a long journey home.
thankgooodnesss!!!
saw andrew, moon, weeman and giler(i forget the name again)
they accompanied me till home.
thanks for the ham&chesse croissant mooon!!!
thanks for the company andrew
=)

kae..
offically tired
i sungguh i cant wait to meeet oni tml
mwah mwah mwah
i sungguh i cant wait for skewl to commence on monday!!!

ooo..
i misss sheila, einn and tipah badly..
just wannna hug u guys.
true friends never stabs each other back ryte??
im blesssed to have u guys to love me so much..
well..as much as u love me..
i love u more.

and i love u baby.
p.s. i love it when u put my arms around u and u turn to me and said 'i love you' wile we were on the bike just now.
it just made me feeel so goood.
i love u tooo
so much
=)

g i r a f a

2008-04-12T03:27:00.000-07:00

haha..

believe it or not.
i worked till one am!!

first of all..
i know sheila and einn was waiting for us.
superbly sorrry..
we were asked to stay till one la syg..
but gerek pe, blh nampak korang while working!!!
ahahaha

by 1 am..
left aydil and me on the 2nd deck of dining area
not many customer..
haha..
even pack, we still foool around..
big boss brother was looking at all the way..
we were literally playing all the way...
till one am!!
finished the day with breads and nachos and chesse..
time breeeze thru..
i sunggguh.
cant wait for einn to join us..
shasha will regret tau klau tak join kiter..
gerek nk mampos!!!!
complete my probation today..
will be paid normal rate wef tml!!!!
i love my new workmates like helll!!

yay!!
meeting baby pat eunos tml..
but kinda early for me sey..
like too early??
1pm??
hahaha...gotta work at 6..
lalalaaaaaa

2008-04-11T15:07:00.000-07:00

days have been great for me.
surrounded by great people.

sweetness of sheila and einn
to fetch from work on wednesday
so great of a surprise

i love my job
busy but not that busy
dont panic dont panic

catched 'the bucket life' before work with oni yesterday.
it was great to spent time with dearest sweetheart
went to kovan to pick up my pay..
but unable to cash it straightaway -_-
went cathay

the bucket life
very light-hearted
sweeet, funny and touching.
try catching it.

next will be..
ping-pong
what's happening

something bout ex-lover
it sucks when they come back
specially when one is attached
worse when they are better in every goddamn sense.
so who do i blame?
get it?
it may sound confusing but its my blog anywae
why do i neeed you to understand.

well anyway..

i just hate it
and who to blame if anything were to happen?
me?
you?
her?
well..let me just take the blame for my foolish thinking and actions dat may be about to occur or maybe never.
whatever la kan..

3 days entries, all jumbled up!!!

2008-04-09T03:00:00.000-07:00

***tuesday***

haha..our shopping trip was made believe!!
met oni and aydil
i was late thanks to aydil..asking me to meet hym at some wrong place!!!
haha
we had great tyme shopping..
errr, actuallly, just bought a pair of shoes
notting else catches my attention.
the boys pon mcm pompuan..bought some stufff!!
i had superbly great fun!!
next stop, sungai road!!

met shaz, naz, shasha at bukit batok afterwards
it was a great day sey!!

well, come home to learn that arique was at the hospital
thank god, he is fine!!!

kae, pictures says it all
=)

***monday***
my first day at work at girafffe
coool or what working there!!!
i sunggguh it was superbly gerek.

here is what i did on my first day;
shaz fetched me from home to work
we were late, asked to have dinnner with the rest
briefing
aircon dining rooom
chit-chatting
sittting down
handfones.
countless tymes asking us to go for smoke break -_-
eat, drink, having fun!!
slack!!!

back from work..
we went to macdonalds at jurong east and eat.
waited for naz..
haha
i know, they love the way nan kissed me on the fone
shaz sent me back home
one hell yeah of a day!!!
hahha

nazzy

fazzy

shazyzy

***sunday***
spent my whole day with mama!!
went to junction 8 to catch the anugerah band audition
my bro's band made it top 68.
were very excited to see hym perform
reached there round 3++
waited for bro's band to perform..
saw razzaq and farouk.
they also made it to top 68.
but misssed their performance.
had great tyme sey
bro never fail to make us proud of hym

waited for the result till 8pm.
wisHed razzaq and farouk good luck
their band's name is OPPOSITE YOUTH
they made it to top 20.
heres the best part..
2 occations, i find myselfcheering out loud alone not forgetting mom, bro and his gf.
opposite youth was called on stage together with other bands
they are the only band who made it.
i shouted like hell.
next
my bro's band..X-TECH
was callled on with many other bands..
i was suppebly aware that the supporters of other bands were surrounding me..
they made the most noise and comments
haha.
when the result was announce..
only x-tech made..
again, we're they only once cheering
haha..
catch them on ANUGERAH kae..
6th may on SURIA.
i dont care..
vote for them!!!!
OPPOSTIE YOUTH & X-TECH!!

bro performing =)

lovely daughter, sabrina

i loook shitty with lovely mom

on the stage

the guitarist

x-tech

bands to look out for.. **tiga suku**

the guy whom i owaez seee on the train

taufik batisah's brother

my saturday =)

2008-04-06T03:27:00.000-07:00

hey people!!

welll o welll
my saturday starts with meeting shaz for our dearest job interviews
first was shangri-la and the other was giraffe
we didnt quite make it to shangri-la as we got lost and the interview was over btw we were nearby.

we make our way to giraffe instead.
haha, the interview was super smooth eventhough the waiting tyme was horrendous.
the people, environment was superbly great and chill.
unlike the previous interview at laura ashley.
as much as i wanted the job, the environment was shitty, could see loads of politics and hypocricy
the way they pierced their stares at me and their fake smiles..arrgghhh
i swear, it was a waste of tyme
but hikmah kan, i got better offers, way bettter offers.
all thish goes out to AYDIL!!!

i swear..
super fun times la together
me, shaz, aydil andd sooon to be with shasha and einn
ooo, how i wish my oni would be interested and not forgetting sheila, naz and tipah..
confirm giraffe next hangout place!!

well, anyway
after dat...dah melayu, sentiaser melayu, janji melayu!!
me and shaz made our way to far east.
so damn hungry seyyyyy!!!
bump in ashar and amirul.
ended up dining together.
i miss you guys sey!!

den, met oni baby, kiki and amin..
we catched three kingdoms at lido
the movie was fine..gerek la..somehow reminds me of watching the empress and the warrior.

met naim, einn and shasha darling
and make our way to cityhalll..
reached esp..was greeted by thish band who played real great music la..
i love it sey..
they did covers of metallica, guns and roses
i enjoyed it so much!!!

saw azhar, my late nyte chattting goood fren!!!
im okie la!!

im superbly glad i saw u
dont you worrry oryte!!

naz and nor joined us
hahaa...i had great laugh tau otw home.
all goes down to naz and me.
shaz rather backed me up at tymes!!!
lalalaaaaa
cian naz!!!
naz naz naz...
i love kacauing u with spoons, sendok and anything!!!
hahaha...
again, i gotten the last last laugh when im in the train while yaw out there!!!
lalalalaaaaaa
u know i know kae??!!!

to oni baby
i love u
im sorrry if i went too quiet and got u all vexed bout me.

i love u no mattter what

thish entry goes out to naz (with much love)

2008-04-05T02:58:00.000-07:00

i had great tyme lepaking with the gerekz!!
which also include

NAZ
&
SHAZ

yesterday =)

2008-04-04T02:47:00.000-07:00

well o well

its kinda late.

let me just do a brief update of everything

shaz fetched me from home.

he was half and hour late

i was bulllied by hym.

with the big helmet and the scary bike

haha

it was fun though

thanks shaz.

we went for the interview at thecage@kallang

haha

shasha joined us and it was gerek man the lounge

den after interview

met darling oni and all of us went to bedok to eat and get shaz' hair cut!!

everything ended and we made our way to marinasq mac to meet the rest of the gereks.

einn, sheila, aydil, amin, kiki, noh was there

so chill

faz darling and oni baby slept at 9am in the morning the next day.

i had a great tyme though.

check out the previous entry toooo!!

today =)

2008-04-04T02:44:00.000-07:00

let just start with today first

woke up at 1.30pm.

i wont say wad tyme i slept!!!

head to sheila's place straight.

they've been ringing my house and hp all morning.

chill there and eat wadever sheila coooks.

SEEEDDDDAAAAAPPP!!!

we did notting much apart from bitching and enjoying each others company.

here are some pics!!!

im wearing the hoodies

baby bought it for me a few days back.
i was so excited bout it.
initially, when we saw it for the first tyme
i tot he was joking bout getting me a new hoodiees

eventuallly, he bought it for me.
he wanted to get the other one
''so bikers style''
but i guess he knows my taste best.
i simply love hoodies

lalala....its PUMA, $79
I LOVE IT LOADS!

well anyway
met oni baby at GV Vivo.
we were excited bout the movie date of course
haha...the three kingdom was showing
he wanted that show.
we vroooom to marinasq..
just about to get the tix, naz callled..
saying they are at vivo.

shud have just sticked to our initial plan baby.
we forgo the movie and had scrumptious dinnner treat at sakura.
we had tom yaw moodle, dengdeng kway teow, wantan and oat prawn.
the food was ok-ok.
kinda disapointed actuallly.
thanks for the treat baby

we happily vrooom back to vivo
just to learnt that they went off without us.
kinda pisssed but nvm
baby sent me home and we sppend our remaning tyme chatting bout whatever had happpend the day before
i had a great day with you baby.

p.s
specially for you
im sorrry for being exxtremly rude to you
i know saying sorry wont take away the hurt and anger u felt towards me at that moment of tyme
when u asked me so many tymes whether i love u
the truth is i always do
and it hurts not answering you.
i love you
i adore you so much
i was different then till you came and turn it all around.
with the past tat i had,
im glad u accepted me and love me sincerely.
words can never describe how much i adore and love u.
yaw irreplaceable

and i wanna grow old with you too.
i love you oni.

the 4th day

2008-04-03T02:11:00.000-07:00

wth!

im sick.

im down.

fever

flu

cough

ulcer

stomachache

my ear hurts

fcuk fcuk fcuk fcuk fcuk

a day with oni....

2008-04-01T23:36:00.000-07:00

i had so much great tyme with you baby.

i update tml+ pictures!!!

thanks for the hoodies syg.

i love it like helllll!!!!

2008-04-01T15:24:00.000-07:00

im down with fever and a very very bad flu!!!
and one more thing..

to a bunch of stupid-looking MORONS

there has been ongoing shits dat is happening on a particular blog..
i badly wanna put her url here
but i dont wanna discriminate her.

listen here..
if u keep thinking that every stinking hate-tags on your cbox is ours..
think twice and learn to think out of the box.
we havent got the time to do so.
and incase you guys feel that we're using your name and url to discriminate you on other people's blogs..boleh relek swah!

if you got no one to point your fingers at, point at yourself, instead us who is fcuking clueless bout anything and being blamed for nothing.

ask that loser friend of yours (yoooooyuuull) or whatever shit the name is to shut the hell up and jangan macam paham. if she is not satisfied in any ways or means, find me. get it? jgn mcm paham label orang klau kau sendiri prangai mcm (i dont wan to dirty my blog by mentioning)...
get it into yaw people freaking thick skulls.

MOFOS.

random

2008-03-31T23:00:00.000-07:00

i love thish pic.

i want it to be thish way always.

no additional people and subtraction of anyone from thish perfect picture.

**to watie, i dont hold it against you..

i know u too welll.

ily/imy.

my sunday

2008-03-31T15:46:00.000-07:00

well..
i had great tyme on sunday
simple yet gerek.
went out with my family to bukit batok to accompany mom&dad for some wedding function.
well, we didnt follow them.
instead..
sis, broinlaw, arique, eqa and me had a lil picnis at the void-deck.
we all seated at the round table and chips&drinks.
haha..
it was gerek..
to come all the wae to BB to eat snackz
cmon, lets just let the picture to the talking
=)
mom&daughter

siti faeqa

arique baby

wife&husband

father&daughter

the food

*saw that elmo, its there when arique is there*

haha

well anyway..
we headed marsilling after that.
to my broinlaw relative's place
we went to eunos to eat..
mom has been wanting to eat yong taufu at there..

a pic of eqa

i departed from them and met oni baby at eunos station.
we had bubble tea
saw joe..haha, its been long.
we head straight to vivo.
wanted to meet mom and dad..
instead, we lost our way and ended up at golden village instead!!!

HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
we catched the movie ''an empress and the warrior''
we misssed the first 5 mins
but i sungguh dat the seating was superbly great.
on the extreme left.
5 seats in the row..
couple seats.
i lifted the divider and lie down while watching..
gosh..it feels so at home!!

after movie..
we hang around and make our way home..
we spend tyme talking bout everything at our place.
haha..
i wanted a sparring session with oni..
he doesnt seem to have the heart to punch me hard..
well, enough to provoke me..
ended up giving punches !!!
and bytes everywhere!!!

cool or what..
the fourth day we spend watching movie together
i love it i love it i love it
thanks baby

am empress and the warrior

as mention..
we catched vantage point ytd

i had a great sunday

great great great day

2008-03-30T03:38:00.000-07:00

woke up early in the morning to help everybody prepare for kenduri at home.
went to delifrance with arique and collected 25 sticks of baguettes.
heavy or what?
reached home..
went out again and got the 5kg ice cubes and the birfday cake.
i didnt stay for the kenduri.

rushed all the way to laura ashley for interview.
tot i could secure it with my experience and stuff
waited for that opportunity for awhile.
well anyway..
learnt that dearest watie brought her friend for the interview as welll
ad intially advisedd me to go first for the interview
i heeded her advise and go for it.
the interview was smooth, the only problem is my hair and she said tat shudnt be a problem.
i assumed tat everything was fine.
till i met shasha at night and she somehow broke the news that watie and the other girl secure their position.
i was like what the hell and ring ad.
now she said the other way round..
''why did u go for the interview first'' i diidnt answered.
she explained and explained but i somehow coulnt be bothered to listen..
arrrggghhhh, truthfully....
i was fcuking pisssed.
like seriously...should have just listened to dearest shasha and forgo dat and go for shangri-la instead.
wasting my time, my efffort and my everything.
haha, but what to kan, im classified as the extra.

well anyway..

i had great time with oni today.
ok i know, been spending some time with hym for the past few dayz.
saw din&nisa(oni's besties)
and had lunch cum dinnner together
it was great la..
something bout oni nyer kaki gerek..
they alll speaks the same..
hahhaaaaa...
they remind me of one another.
like din, reminds me of mamil
whereas naz reminds me of oni??
hmmmm

this is the third day we catched movie.
this tyme was VANTAGE POINT.
seriously, the movie was damn3 great.
CATCH IT!!!

as stated above,
met shasha and aydil at esp.
some dose of gig..
chilll and offf we went home.

ohya..
i met my sister love just now!!
baoxiannnn!!!!
hahaha...damn u..!!!
how the helll i misss u so fcuking much!!!
iloveu iloveu iloveu
its true when they say dat secondary times are the best to have great2 frennds.
for my case is not friends..
its more of sisterhoood.
i love u sis.

it seeems mundane here..
i love the tymes we had together.
love u baby!!!

thanks bloood for listening to me colplain bout today.
yeah!!!
i'll do something bout it and i know i'll get your full suppport.
not u but our little clique as welll!
they love me more!
and i love u guys loads!

2008-03-29T01:58:00.000-07:00

haha..im crazzeeee
whenever i could stop and snap, i willll!!!!
in the lift also!!!

seen dat hair???

somehow i feeel dat hotel job suckz!!
like long hours and tiring.
normal waitressing..
errr....dont think can tolerate dat..
going for another one i guesssss!!!

well anywae..

met up with baby...
sempat catch movie tau!!!
we catched shutter.
i wasnt feeling great.
was very very cranky..
mood swing was very bad!!!!

sorrry baby..
to have made u put with my ugly mood swings..
it must have hurt u with my tots
i sunggguh i didnt mean it.
it was one of those days i guesss.
im sorrrry kae??

something bout GUYS
they come and go..
sometymes theres just tooo many guys..
sometymes there isnt.
i know..
me being infamous..
leaving one for another..
dat was just in the past..
good guys came along..
but none was as great as YOU.
i wont (insyallah)
leave u for another.
love u baby.

--fazzy&oni

--on the wae to the carpark!!

--us (and no more)

welll ooooo welll

i know, we're craazeeee..

cant stop watching movie!!!!!

i sunggguh!!!

here goessss....

from the latest movie we catched..

till the first movie we catcheddddd!!!

check out the posters

the one we catched today!!

the first movie!!

FORGING STRONG FRIENDSHIP TOGETHER =)

2008-03-28T13:53:00.000-07:00

2nd row from left, count till 5.
tats us!!
my lovely sisters.

im sure it's gonna put a smile on your face when you read thish entry.
thish photo shot was snapped by darling old man(ah chua) during our sergeant training(nov/dec2002)
we were of course, the cream of the crops.
thish is where true friendships began.
my bestfriend were all here.
till now, we love each other.
i reallly, reallly, reallly misss you guys.
if i could turn back time, i will without a doubt.

--suesue

--find me!!

--during the parade

gerard

shaliz suraj

3 great guys are inside thish picture.
out of 3, 1 still going strong.
suraj is the name.

indeed old man manage to forge strong friendship together.

2008-03-28T02:25:00.000-07:00

hey people!!
its beeen so long..
hahaha...lalalaaaaaaaaaaa!!

welll, spent some quality tyme with sweetheart today.
we went to run some errand.
was pampered with comfort drink (choc milk tea)

it was raining sey..
there goes my eyeliner..
so much for the effort!!

haha, we had our hair cut!!!
oni's hair is thinnner and mine..
gooodnesss...it was so random sey bout the cuttting of hair..
haha..
snap some tml and upload it oryte??

den..
we went to catch movie at plaze singapura.
hahaa
THE ORPHANAGE
GOSH..it was kinda dry and slow sey.
dotn catch it!!!
but towards the end was touching sey..
oni, was restless thru out the movie...
biaser la, faz'z choice..!!!!
vvvrrrrrooooommmmm home after that!!

hey baby..
it was great sey..
when u said tat to me.
i was dumbfounded.
i was so touched.
i feel it so much.
i love your love, your warmth, your kisses
your everything.
i told you, im so blesssed.
--sneak preview

2008-03-27T00:08:00.000-07:00

things have been shitty lately.
im sorry to have made you superbly worried bout me.

we gonna get thru thish oryte
together

you're like the pillar that i could lean on
i have great faith in you

nothing will change once everything is fine.
i promise you.

i love you for coming into my life and sincerely made me a new me.
i wont regret being with you
and i dont care of what people is going to say.

i love you, i love you, i love you and nothing/nobody could change that love.

p.s. i took your hand and cross the road, you promise me you wont let go
so i held on to you tighter.
now the road gets rocky and busy
hell no i'll let go of it half way.
we go thru this together.
love you syg.

2008-03-25T12:11:00.000-07:00

TO ALL JERKS WHO LAY THEIR HANDS ON WOMEN OR TO BE BLUNT, HOLE DAT YOU COULD BANG ON

FUCK OFF LOSER

I WONT FORGIVE YOU
I WONT ACKNOWLEDGE YOU
I WONT LET OUT WHO THE HELL YOU ARE TO THE WHOLE WORLD

1 THING FOR SURE

I WONT HATE YOU
YOU SHUD BE THANKFUL TO ONI

FUCK OFF ORYTE

NOT IN A HUNDRED YEARS I'LL FORGIVE U, NEVER WILL I ACKNOWLEDGE U, NEVER WILL I BLESSED YOU

LISTEN;
IN THIS WORLD
KAU LA YANG PALING MULIA, PALING BAEK, SEGALE-GALE NYER KAU
WHEREAS THE REST IS FUCKED UP RYTE?
MAYBE YOUR GF HAVENT KNOW YAW TRUE COLOR.
I PITY HER.
TRUST ME, YOUR CONSCIENCE WILL EAT YOU ALIVE

im sorry readers for sounding crude, blunt, heartless
but if you were to know his doings..
no doubt you'll agree with what is stated above.
too pisssed to update.

YOU'LL GET WHAT U DESERVE

2008-03-24T03:44:00.000-07:00

speciallly for you

i once told naz..
something about u reallly makes me wanna change.
and its true.
i wont go back to my old ways..
too westernise..

im glad and settled for what Allah has given me.
YOU.
so complete
so near to perfection.
dat ring, i cherish like helll

reallly hope things gets bettter for you, for me, for us.
im sorrry cause i slammmed down the fone
sorrry baby for the mistakes ive made.

yaw so right for me
dare not ask for more.
love you huns.

P/S check out the previous entry.

to my hearts&love

2008-03-24T03:31:00.000-07:00

strange but tRuE..
MOST gerek people in my life have name starting with the alphabet 'A'
*ahmad mannan(oni)
*aishah
*adawiyah

*ain
*azhar
*aydilhaqeem
*andrew
*adamantium

not forgetting..
*sheila
*sharifah
*shaz
*rasul
*naz(ravi)
*hamdan
*jannah
*yan

to my sis (sexylady);
sick and tired of quarreling and throwing face.
im bad ryte.
i'll try and change kae.
i neeed tyme and i miss going out with you.
u still havent fulfill ur promise of going out with me
remember, a few dayz before your wedding?
hahaha..
i dont hold anything against u.
i love you.
you know i do.
p.s. thanks for arique and eka
they are so beautifull and perfectt.
i love them more then anything, including my life.
all thanks to you and abg shah.
imy/ily sis.

to mom;
i know u eventually wont read this.
i did u so much wrong.
i'll be a better daughter.
and you'll be proud of me someday.
i promise.
dats my 20th birthday resolution sey.
words can describe the love im having for you.

to jannah/sue;
ala..
we're bloood no mattter what.
no mattter how far we are apart
no mattter how much we are chasing what we want in life..
deep inside, i'll never stop missing you
ily

to shasha;
i dont care what people label you and stuff.
they are just full of jealousy
i swear!
they dont have what u possess..
BEAUTY, CHARISMA, CHARM..(the list goes on..)
thanks for being a part of that wonderful, memorable birfdae.
yaw there when im in my deepast dark2 hole.
yaw suppport, yaw love pulll me thru.
i love and care for u so much..
and i want the best for u..
i speak up for u when people try to bring you down.

to sheila;
hahaha..
my partner in crime.
thanks FOREVER21, i got to know such a great girl with a hell yeah personality.
yaw strong outside..
inside, yaw as sweet as honey.
you never fail to speak up for me whenever some shits occurs.
u never leave me stuck.
heeding yaw advise is owaez ryte.
and you'll never stop suppporting me and be there for me
ahw, sheila..
i love the tyme we've spent together.
dat birfdae celebration uve whippped up with einn and tipah.
i love it.
i love u no mattter what.

to einn;
haha..
saper agak we'll be very superbly close now?
i love the birfdae thingy.
sweeet tau korang.
i love u baby..
i know, ive been using love thru out thish entry..
but i mean it..
you guyz la..satu2 nyer dat i love so much.
u rawk my life sey.

to tipah;
i love the card!!!
i swear.
those words...with the pop-out heart..
kekeke...
when is the last tyme i received a card??
long2 tyme ago.
love u baby!!!

to aydil;
hahaha
my HULK partner.
yaw sweeet sey..
im glad yaw one of us now.
im looking forward to seeing more of u kae.
love sharing those lil tots with u.
haha, nak kater aper kan
klau third dae kiter kenal, i dah nangis.
and u calm me down!!!
kekekeeee
aydil2, so sweeet.
fortunate shasha.

to andrew/azhar;
u have been great.
u came and help me out during hard tymes.
i enjoy the frenship dat we're having now.
eventhough, it may just limit to msn..
neverthelesss...
i appreaciate your presence in my life.
it does make a helll lot of difference.

to naz, shaz, yan;
thankz for believing in me.
i cherish the frenship dat ish budding thru the dayz.
naz,
sorry la klau slalu kacau kau..
u know i never mean it
but at tymes i cant help it coze i feel dat u kacau me enufff
now the history is repeating..
kau kene balek!
shaz,
yaw not dat sombong afterralll.
label u as one in the past.
sorry ekh baju besar, dulu baju aku tk cukop kaen.
maintain kae, dat rednesss when paisey. cute pe lu!
yan,
reallly hope things will get better for u.
im here if u neeed help.

(check out the previous entry. all thish on the same day!!!!)

2008-03-24T02:34:00.000-07:00

he was on the dot.
830pm sharp he reached here
truthfully, i was pissed.

well anyway,

we went labrador.
finallly..
ive talked things out with oni.
we both ended up sheddding tears.

(like how u realise how much i love u, like how i realise how much u love me)

from labrador
all the way to marsiling
to meet up with dear shasha, aydil, ise, shaz, naz, lalalalalaaaaaaa
the journey was gerek la..
we went thru gap..
and some almost kosong highwae..
nv had so much fun on the road.
we were practicallly screaming on the top of our lungs, watching the full moon, chasing shah ibrahim!!!
yeah!! i remember it now!!!

had so much fun at the coffeeshop
watching soccer(mcm paham)
people are watching us..lalalaaaaa
cant wait, tml socccer at tanjong pagar!!!!

reached home before 1
but mama claimed dat i was late.
**nottin to say**

to you.
im sorry if my tone were harsh on you.
just wanna make sure that u'll get the msg dat im trying to penetrate into your confuse head
its coool dat uve been reading bout our lives.

i dont appreaciate u somehow degrading her but at the same time asking favour from her and same goes to people like naz and oni. whatever happen between you and hym, just keep it between you guyz. if i were you, i woulndt be hanging my dirty linens in the public. have some respect for him, if not for yourself.

im a girl, i know what yaw going thru..its hard learning dat about hym. ive been thru it before and it stinks. but maybe u both neeed some space and breaks from each other. it will do good.

so please..leave her alone and for that so calll fren of ours, tolong sampaikan pat dier..jgn jager hal orang klau hal sendiri tk terjage. look at herself/himself before judging others. pretty sure, he/she doesnt like being labelled too ryte??

IRRIT!

2008-03-23T04:26:00.000-07:00

HUMPFFFFFFFFFF!

from 8pm
to 815pm
den now 830pm?

ridiculous?
yes it is!
my patience level running low.

den it will be frequent yawnings
and many excuses.
my patience level running low.

just see what time u arrive kae?
and see what happens.

im sick of all thish crapz from you.
shit owaez happens when i love someone.
yesh, it backfires..
the more i refuse, the more i end up loving u more.
just see how long kae im tolerating thish nonsense from u.

no more late nyte conversations
kae, yaw working i understand.
now?

maybe what u told me once bout wad shaz said is true.
u just love the thrill of chasing.
again..
shundt have let u have me dat easily.

IM SICK OF ALL THISH SHITS.

maybe KARMA does EXIST

2008-03-22T12:05:00.000-07:00

okie!
for blood sake..(halik)
my line got cut offf..
wont be using that number anymore.
ill update
gettting a p paid soooon!

hey!
finallly i have the modd and tyme to update!

fridae!!!
welll...
went to Girafffe to lepak with aydil
THANKZ NAZ!!
yaw so late and trust oni for not scolding u for making me wait!!!!
lalalalaaaaa!!!!

we had fun..
eventhough yan and shaz came late.
hahaha..mestila fun
im not the victim for dat day!!
its naz..and it seeems dat aydil enjoy disturbing dearest naz!!!
lalalaaaaa...
i shalll not type out on wad we disturb hym
let thish be an inside joke!!

welll...
met ise, yan and shaz pat marina.
we ate and stuff..
again..
i was the victim of their kacauing
keke..gettting use to it.
thankz naz for the natasher thingy!!!

we den proceed to esp and chilll
while the guyz drinks and stufff
was enjoying the music from the perfprmers.
gerek or wad..
they played those song from alanis m, the cardigans(my fav) and many2 more.
the voice power pe.

went home early..
i miss you sey syg.
got wad i mean kan?

saturdae!!
i stayed at home the whole dae with my family.
very rare occasion to be seeing my face at home.
coze im owaez so preoccupied with things outside.
its time i guessss

ate macdonalds at pioneeer mall..
kekee
alot sey..
the whole meal plus corn and mc flurrry!!!!

lalaala
was kinda pisseed at baby.
knowing dat i wont come down for the bbq
and still asking'
it was super sweet when he called me for the 2nd tyme
saying dat he is at my voidDECK.
we spent out 1st month together at the stroke of midnyte
i lvoe u baby..
extremely glad u came.

2008-03-21T01:30:00.000-07:00

the outing just now.
well...
mit oni.
he was late sey!!

wanted to catch a movie..
but im broke and we're broke.
forget it!

got a book titled 'a prison diary'
scary and kinda sad story
about a prisoner's life.
very detailed sey.

met aydil and we off for dinnner
den off to marina.
so communication breakdown
have to head back to town.
kesian aydil kene pegi alek via train.

--cute pe u!

met shaz, naz, yan, shasha, kiki and gangs at town.
did notttin actuallly.
could have just stick to marina but for shasha sake

shasha darling spilled a cup of big gulp.
kecoh la u.
haha..
head home shortly after dat

its like mundane
but i reallly enjoy my tyme with baby.
i miss you too sey.
it says alot in your kiss.

--trying to show off the hat!

p.s. thanks fahmy =)

2008-03-20T02:21:00.000-07:00

a day out with my gfs!!
initial plan was to go shisha at sheila's place with brownies and pasta.
cancelled due to last min changes.
we ended up at sentosa instead.

sweeetness..
sheila bought me a cake
and tippah made me a bdae card.
im superbly touched!

we had so much fun eventhough the weather was kinda dissapointing.
it was so chillled and relax.
some cute japanese and caucasions were around..
but i dont reallly care..
lalalalaaaa

we endedd up at vivo eating and lepak again.
andrew and aydil joined us shortly.
it was fun sey.
i had a great day!
another blast celebration for me.
blesssed ryte?
i know!

just let the pictures do the tellling kae people??
enjoy!!!

--the BIRTHDAY CAKE!

--EINN, TIPAH, SHEILA, WAL & FAZZY

--the card tippah made for me, with pop-out heart

i love you too syg.

notice the reflection of einn and sheila

--abit of aydil's ass and me with andrew's slip on.

cooolnesss

--cute pe!

--tippah

--alll of us!

--tippah&sheila

--im owaez the SMALLEST!

2008-03-19T04:05:00.000-07:00

arique was offifcially discharged from hospital on the 17th of march.
first thing first..
to all my friends
thanks for all the well-wishes
being there for me in tymes of bad.
thanks for all your concern regarding arique.
he is fine.
no more hospital, operations and pain.
he is healthy and noisy now.
im so thankful to Allah.

well..
dayz have been fine.
managed to serve my notice at Adidas.
not so peacefullly..but i fisnish it anywae..

new job suckz.
i started at 230 and officiallly left the job at 530.
with basic dat is so meagre and comission dat is hardly enuf for toilets and fonecalls..
its a total waste of tyme.

calll for SOS.
meet naz and shaz at marina mac.
they are late uh...even with bike..
thanks god there was fauzan and aslan.
they kept me company thru out!

we lepak and laugh out loud..
aydil joined us shortly after dat..
keke..
im glad aydil can blend in.
kaki gerek semuernyer..
my baby joined us after dat..

haha..
the underpass to citilink was fun la..
was the only gal..
obviously jadi bahan buli apart from naz.
and it was oni la who is forever bullying me..
and i know your trick mister!
bully3
den say ''i kacau2 u, i maseh syg u tau''
FAMILIAR?

kiki&amin mit us pat esp..
zaki join..
straight to naz'z area..
went to had suppper..
yan joined and me offf!
and here am i at home!!!

cant wait for tml tau..
going sentosa with sheila, einn, tipah..!!!
wei...join uh!!!

some pictures of arique and loves!!!

p.s. check out the entry before thish tooo..

just updated also!

2008-03-18T03:43:00.000-07:00

ok..
i know..

i stole pictures from shasha's blog.

but i coulndt help it.

see it again okie??

lalalalaaaaaa

15th & 16th march.

my blast birfday celebration.

thankz to my love once.

IM BLESSED.

the guy who accompanied me for lunch!

for fetching me home with shasha, aydil

i love the bubble tea and the lunch u treated me.

--dan

haha

the birfday song u guyz sang was superbly cute and sweet.

wad more can a birfday girl ask for??

standing at her doorway

singing her birfday song

ahw...sweet sey.
--my oni, shaz & naz

thanks sayang for being there at the stroke of midnyte.

i love you

--fazz&shasha

tipu i ekh pasal rizal!!!!

humpf..

me being me..

believe her word by word!!

lalalalaaa

my hearts with me on the eve of my bdae!

--dan, aydil, shasha, andrew & faz

all eyes sitting in the row of seats were on us after we took these pictures in the train.

COOLNESS ryte??

--my hearts

pretty women

me&you

haha..

i cant help it but to tell everybody..

the next few pictures..

with me and oni only..

i love it sey..

picture perfect sey..

kekeke

lalalalaaaaa

--my CAKE!

ala..nak step cute jek oni..

i love the ring.

i sungguh!

kekeke...

great frenz arent they??

dont worrry...

9th june&18sept..

i put it aside for the 2 of you!

--naz, faz,shaz

i know..

u love thish picture.

your hair ryte??

hahaha

the gift.

heart-shaped necklace

engraved ring

the clearest i could get from the ring.

thanks baby for dat perfect celebration.

never expected it at all.

it is simple yet sweet, memorable, heart-warming.

i coulndt describe it..

from the doorway, to the cake, to the gift in the helmet, to the engraved ring..

goodnesss..

u know how much the ring means to me.

i love u baby

im blessed

2008-03-16T02:50:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY AMY!!
WE'RE SHARING THE SAME BIRTHDAY!!!
I HOPE YOURS WAS A BLAST LIKE MINE!!
=)

work was shitty just now.

i knoe..

all the support and encouragement for me to complete my 4dayz notice.

seriously.. ADIDAS shitty man..

was fcuked by my manager for coming in late for break just now.

haha..like i care.

dan meet me for lunch cum dinner just now.

we had kfc and sit at some stairs..

haha..

it was coool man.

u made me happpy sey.

met aydil at adidas.

naseb ader u guyz.

sheikh dropped by..thanks for dat advance bdae present!!

work end..

thanks ekh korang..

shasha, aydil and dan fetched me.

laughed at me for mopping..

toook my pictures sommore.

i'll upload sooon.

thanks for the bubble tea dan!

was kinda dissapointed sey..

my oni didnt fetched me from work..

likewas expecting hym.

saw fahmy in the train instead.

shasha sent me home..

tak pernah2 tau..

i swear.

i smelt nottin fishy..

i swear..

be goood..

and listen to oni baby and be home before 12.

was so down..

to make things worse..

left my hp with andrew in the rush to run to the toilet..

was doing nottin till i heard someone beri salam..

kiwak..mydnyte pulak tuuu..suare mcm nenek sey..

till she pressed the belll..

haha...

was supperbly speechlesss..

at the dooor hole..

saw dearest shasha..

and 3 cute guyz at the back!!

my baby was holding the cake..

i opened the dooor..

shasha was the coordinater..

they alll sang for me..

sweeet kan..

hahaha..

my gotch..

thanks guyz..

i reallly had a great tyme.

it was a blast surprise..

till now, it didnt seem real dat it happpened.

thanks darling shaz, naz, shasha

they were there..

shaz, naz, oni and not forgetting shasha.

we had cake and so much picture taking..

baby..

love u love u love u

haha..

dah mat motor..mat motor ekh..

ask me picked up the helmet and nicely..

thish little box fell out..

ahw..

a ring and a necklace.

i'll upload tml oryte.

i love you sayang..

nicely engraved

''nan♥faz''

didnt know how much u love me till today.

i♥u too baby.

thankz for this day..

it will be engrave in my heart.

i love you

----

2008-03-14T00:47:00.000-07:00

hey..
things have been fine eversince arique got out of icu..
just gotten news from my dad.
arique have to be operated again..
due to phlegm in his liver..
they are transferring hym to KK tml..
i was so hungry till i learnt bout the newz..
now im feeling ---..
like i cant even describe..
wanna cry..

just when i tot i could have a great birfdae even though im working..
now everything fall apart..
wad i wanna do next is to beg my manager to let me off..
so dat i could be a the hosp with arique..
but i doubt those motherfuckers understand..
so just give my fcuk face and go to work.

ohya..
welcome to the club faz...
my bill was cut off..
waiting for my pay to settle it bit by bit.
using prepaid soon i guess, kental pe..
i cant reply..
so calll me!!

p.s. thanks baby for not caring,
for being superbly occupied with so many things
dat u dont knoe what im going thru.
thankz baby.

sharique, aunty loves you =)

2008-03-11T01:47:00.000-07:00

i miss my enjoyment.
no, im not complaining..
im just stating...how much i miss having fun w/o worries.
like finallly..
i managed to find tyme for my dearest oni.
we catched ps. i love u at lido on saturdae.
it was so much fun with you.
i knoe..
we're both tired
but im super glad dat the dae ended welll..
hahaha...

----------------------------------------------

here is my sweetheart.

recovering welll at the hospital.

beeen super shaggged and worrried.

were always given bad news for the first few dayz.

he had his 2nd operation 2 dayz ago.

he is recovering now..

insyallah, by tml

he will be moved to the general ward back.

syukor alhamdullilah.

one funnny incident..

that must have left my mom sleeping smiling.

his paternal side asked hym.

who do u love.

nenek or datok??

arique gave her a long2 stare

and answered her...

''arique sayang umi ajek''

the term he callls my mom.

hahaha...

notice his hand...=)

me and eqa..

cian..
she is also not feeling welll

haha..
was superbly late for my first paper.
thanks to my CA..
she lets me in..
even hold on to my uniform dat ad passes her..
thankz darlin ad.
thankz darling shasha.
thankz my little clique for the suppprt u guyz gave.
budden 30bucks flew just like dat..
hahaha..

we manageg to catch 10 000bc at vivocity tadi.
i fell asleeep halfwae thru..
haha..
im sorrry syg.
we'll catch again k??
u pay!!!!!
lalalalaaaaa

it was super sweeet just now.
we had new york pizzza and everything goes welll
i love our simple dates..
last minute dates..
love it alll..

he was kinda different just now..
wonder on which side of bed he woke up from..
hahaha..
those lil kissses..
enough to keeep me smillling thru the nyte.

saw sarina and nana.
my old forever 2 pwenz.
lil gathering.
i misss sheila, tipah and einnn sey...
gosh..
i just misss so many ppppl...
im sorrry for the little tyme ive spent...

p.s. to my oni
im sorrry baby for the harsh msg again yesterdae.
i know, i knoe..
i knoe u love me loads..
was superbly touched when i saw my pic pat ur background
and our pic pat screensaver.
i notice it..
and i swear i was so touched..
loveu loveu loveu

million apologise

2008-03-08T01:08:00.000-08:00

first of all..
to those msges dat i didnt reply on fone.
i'm sorry.

been up and down
at the hospital.
moods have been foul
atmosphere has been solemn
great eye bags
concealer does wonders .
im so tired..
been very edggy

arique
undergo thish operation just now.
to remove water/phlegm from his liver
instead, bloood came out.
oozing out

he was 'high' after the op..
asking for donuts.
aunty bring your fav cheese donuts tml syg.
the doc came and explained..
they wanted to collect more blood for lab testing..
fcuk those tube dat transfer his blood to a container bleak.
a pool of blood dripping as a result.
''dity blood'' as they term it..
whatever
it is blood afterall..for GOD sake.
DAMN DOC from NUH
wanted to perform some procedures..
wanted us to leave hym all alone..
lucky my sis fought for their rights..
and my bro-in-law was allowed to stay with arique.
i just hate those DOCS AND NURSES there.
pegila mampos masing2..

went for the interview pat vivo.
gotten the job!!
haha..

datz when i learnt dat my arique was in ICU..
it took me awhile to absorb the shock..
toook cab there..

saw hym sleeping soundly..
they did some blood tranfering to hym..
i know, saket..
it hurts..
mom told me dat arique asked for me when he was wheeled to the ICU.
he looks all pale..
thanks GOD they are replenishing the blood he lose..
praying hard he is out from ICU besok..
i update tml again.

sheila, einn, halik, andrew, syawal, fahmy, falah
thanks for all the doa and well-wishes guys
im sure it reaches hym..

to my oni
sorry for the harsh msg ive sent just now.
couldnt control my emotions
it got all jumbled up.
i'm sorrry baby.
i know your reasons even w/o shasha telling me.
but you knoe datz not what i want from us.
i'm superbly happy and blessed with whatever we have and dont dare to ask for more.

sorry for being a shit just now.
sorrry for hurting you..
love u and nottin more
we'll catch p.s i love you
=)

bad day

2008-03-07T01:42:00.000-08:00

todae was actually just like any normal days

i woke up early to attend my class.

i did whatever i wanna did.

i even chatted with my bf on the fone.

it was a great day actually.

till i realised that i have paper next week.

and im not done with my revision.

till i realised that i'm fired

and the message came nice in my handfone.

here goes;

''hi faz, michelle here.

i have discussed with sal--------------------->my store manager

it seems that you have got too many commitments

and we are always lack of manpower

it is best that you resign. tnx''

fcuk u wh*re!!!

oryte.

it was bad, i still can take it

as they dont really encourage me to work there

due to management.

things started to get better

till i heard from mom dat my beloved arique was hospitalised.

my world suddenly collasped and i dont know what to do.

thank god, my dearest 3 hearts were there; halik,haqeem&farhanBO

they borrowed me their shoulder and wipe my tears

quickly i rang oni to confide.

just broke down..

dearest sent me to the hosp

on the bike,

so many things ran thru my head.

the tot of arique watching cartoon and smilling at me

kissing me and hugging me titely

saying ''sayang nina''

dat very morning hit me hard.

tears just flow freely..

i was so scared and praying and praying

i didnt knoe wad to expect..

''thanks dear, dat hug u gave me was very comforting.

i love u hun''

reached there..

at the ward..

saw arique and his dad..

i huggged hym titely..

kissing hym while crying

its life worth living for just by seeing you fine

i love you so much.

i love u more then i love my life.

if i could exchange it for the pain u went thru just now

i would without a tot

without regret.

you may just be a nephew

but u mean a world to me.

i love you so much &

only ALLAH knows how much.

now i cant sleep

eventhough i'm so shagged.

i'm restless..

=)

2008-03-06T03:23:00.000-08:00

hey..

nottin much.

it was raining the whole day.

god dammit..

gonna be very2 busy sey..

exams cuming.

went out to catch DEATHNOTE with oni.

it was a nice movie.

not bad.

we went to eat.

it was simply.

i love it.

haha

left over pictures of yesterday.

sorry mates, couldnt resist the temptation of uploading it.

p.s. im sorry if i miss you too often.

i just couldnt help it.

i'll try to adapt..

just keep on adapting.

shisha

2008-03-05T02:31:00.000-08:00

i love thish picture in particular.
it seems very classic.
courtesy of taqim!!
great one!!

well anywae,
skewl ended fast.
we did some studying together..
and off to meet our superb people.
ni la, when all the superb ppl come together did.
shasha'z fakeeyelash..
malek and aydil tried.
sajak la korang!!!

after skewl..
we all woooossssshhhh home!!!
hahaha...meeet up back at round 9 at bugis..
initiallly, wanted to be a goood girl and go study..
humpf!!!
it doesnt seeem to happpen!!
ended up ''shhheshaing''
it was so much fun.
we almost tak bayar..
dammmit...

i cant say more..
let pictures do the talking..
opz, there are some more pics actuallly..
i upload more tml!!!

--dan&fazzy

--amy,malek,taqim

--kiki&amin

--last ekh muker dan!!!

--i love thish!

--superb people (more on amy!!!)

--alahai aydil =)

--fazzzy&andrew

--dan, fazzy, andrew

--cute nyer dier!!!

--coool taste!

--amy,malek,taqim

--3stoooges

--fazzy&andrew

--with love =)

--ahw....

welll...

we catched the last train home.

i lve the tyme ive spent with you guyz.

i love you guyz.

u guyz forever making my day.

p.s. i misss you so much.

i hate it when i misss you.

i wish you could come just now.

i love u beb!

bike-wash

2008-03-04T02:19:00.000-08:00

i told you,
i'm reminded of you when i listen to thish song.
read thru the lyric..
speciallly for you.
=)

well..
was about to start blogging
when i realised that thish beautiful rose is staring at me.
i wannna share what i'm seeing now.
enjoy!!!
p.s. from you!

today was fine.
meet up with shasha in the morning.
we were kinda gatal..
dropped by bedok for our regular dose of bubbletea!!
reached skewl just to learn that we weren't on tyme for the lesson.

so, we went to eat..
did some studying, empk empk!!

saw hafa and fyera..
haha..i knoe, my little head fyera syg.
i'm not angry hafa, just wondering.
hmmm..

den me and shasha
had our dose of great people.
nisa was mrajok the whole towards the end.
haha, i seriously love the HIYAK with dan
and the HULK with aydil!!
thankz for the bubble tea andrew!!
had so much fun!!!
i sunggguh!
thanks dearests!

den my oni came.
haha..
cute la u.
shasha got all excited when i called oni abg.
plz syg, it was a point of sarcasm!!
chilll with them..

we went off to bedok.
wanted to do the all tyme favourite.
MOVIE!!
but listing pat PRINCESS tak gerek..timing suckx too.
we had burger king...
thankz for the treat bebeh.

we went shopping for the washing stuff.
haha..gerek pe.
great experience.
i had so much fun sey..
haha, the ryte side is shinier then the left.
please dont blame the lighting.
the left wheel is cleaner then the right!
thanks ekh oni..
for the water splasshing part.
kkkaaachinggg!!!
dah pon shinnnny!

came sham..
waited for hym to be done..
oni wanted a hair cut..
but shop close..
murah pe, 4.80 for all lenght.
lepak mcd..(oni's fav)
and off home.

had our finger foood(pizza), pepsi and ++++
hahahaha
hmmm...dah pandai pon ekh oni!!!
lalalalaaaa..

to aydil&shasha..
sorry la tak join.
give u guyz some tyme on your own..
lalalalaaaa...

i love it, great day
i love you.

--andrew, dan, fazzy

--sweeetheartz

shagggeeeddd!!!

2008-03-02T01:16:00.000-08:00

i'm been very3 buzy for the past 3 dayz.
like finally, i could blog.
i love blogging.
a way of recapping those moments and stating it down for memories.

friday/-
suppose to work.
but i cancelled it.
the nyte before,
chatted with oni on the fone till late.
woke up so early.
it was brightened up by my hearts!!
late for the test..
sitting for it on tuesdae, damn my teacher!!!

met oni in the afternoon.
gosh, yaw so adorable in dat uniform.
met his mom, dad and dis so potential hotstuff, puteri.
cooked for hym pasta.
enjoyed it at the void-deck.
met shaz, naz, zaki and kiki pat esp.
met aydil and dan.
i enjoyed the gig.
we chilll, waited for shasha and head home.

i spend tyme with oni.
NO!! NOT LABRADOR SHASHA!!!
we chattted till 2am.
i love it.

saturday/-
trully shagged..
to work
saw so many members
gerek pe!!

my hearts fetched me from work.
sampai 3 org..
nak salahkan saper kan??
thankz babies.

lepak with aydil, shasha, dan, amy, nisa, ad, sheila
pat fullerton.
thankz ekh, for the lipas!!!
so much fun and laughter.
they made my day..

--to dan..
found a great friend in you.
haha, the staring incident in the train..
baek per..
hahaha..
touched to knoe dat ive made your day.
kekeke..
and tnx for dat sweeet sms babe!!
HULK!!!!!

sunday/-
sunday was nice and easy.
woken up by arique's painful cries.
his stomach was reallly bad.
sent to NUH.
gooodness, was so relieved dat he is fine.
i wish i could take away your pain and take dat pain just now syg.
i love you deeeep!
only HE knoez.

wake up sleeep, wake up sleeep.
finallly get to meet oni..
mcm2 punyer delay!!!
haha,
well anywae..
was presented with a rose.
how sweeet..
kekeke...yaw making me smile now.
cute la you.
thanks eh shaz.

--shaz, naz, oni&fazzy

we lepak ngan kiki, naz, amin, shaz
haha..wont forget shaz incident!!!
met up with
andrew, aydil, amy, shasha, dan.
head to esp to catch force vomit..
lagu SITI baek per!!
i love the tyme
great laughter with stupid riddles!!!

we had a heart to heart talk..
it feels better after telling you all dat..
yaw great.
yaw superb.
yaw one in a million.
thingz changed so much.
i'm adapting.
i know u love me.
i know yaw doing it for me, for us.
i'm sorrry for adding dat burden on yaw shoulder now.
i'll be the greatest u'll ever had.
i never stop missing you.
mwah.

feedback

2008-02-28T01:57:00.000-08:00

hey..been listening to ''feedback'' by janet jackson over and over again.
i'm addicted!!

normal day today.
i was dread cause everybody i love was superbly busy.
haha..i use to be one of them.
but no longer!!!
went for lesson..
completing my e-tutor sooon!!!
yay!!!
didnt get my dose of chooc milk tea in the morning..
iskh!

funny incident
haha, watie and ad was quarrelling in the lift
when i hit their titz!!!
haha, they revenge..
thish one geek in the lift got so scared..
dat he stood so near to fahmy..
shasha burst and all of us did..
haha..
i sungguh..
that guy was superbly scared..
felt bad though.

after class..
went to ITE Bedok to meet nisa and gang.
haha..
kinda dreaded it at first.
harapkan aydil jek dat i kenal..
tu pon never really tok..
lepak with them.
gerek pe dorang!!

--aydil

went home..
many funny incident alonng the way..
too many to type..
aydil and nisa sent me till j.e.
and home alone.
went out back to study at fullerton.
meet helmi, hamdan, farhana, aydil...
waited for shasha..
we chatted and chilll..
it was coool..
HULK & HO HO HO!!
busuk!!!
lalalalaaaaaaa!

--helmi

aydil accompanied me till j.e.
saw some regular folks on the train..
haha, makin lamer jadik kwn semuer..
smallworld uh.

strange,
but dat one fone call makes my dae.
:)
love u
--us, coolness

--my love, faeqa&sharique

--crazeee monkey(yiling)

BRIGHTENED UP

2008-02-27T01:06:00.000-08:00

gosh..
the torment has go away for awhile.

everything was bad from the beginning.
but things seems fine now.
shan't say much.
:)

skewl was freaking busy.
loadz oof braincells needed to store impt info.
everything seems impt now.

went out with you and friends.
it was chill.
kinda awkward at first..
but i guess i just neeed loadz of tyme.
we went coffeebean@sing post.
den to parkway for dinner.
got to know something..
i swear i donno whether it is true or not..
NAZZY= RAVI KRISHAN s/o RAMA.....
HUH??!!!
gosh..someone enlighten me please.
i knoe case close..
but curiousity kills the cat..
hmmm..

we masing2 went home aft everything
oni&me went to our favourite hangout..
(no! not labrador or wad shasha)
shhh...secret!!!
lalalaa...
i miss you.
i know i'm gonna get thru thish no matter how hard it is.
i'll try and try and try
and i know it gets harder.
but nvm..
i'll try and never stop trying
i'll never give up
the feeling was great aft coming clean to everything to u just now.
i love it when we just could sit down and talk.
just you and me.
i dont care if others dont have faith in me
as long as you do
and it means a world to me.
love you.

i knoe people will be like lalalalaaaaa
when the read thish...
continue "lalalalalaaaaaaling"
and see whats next...

lalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

ahw..

2008-02-26T09:24:00.000-08:00

it touched me.
was tinking deeply of what i wanna post.
when the cardigans went off on my handfone.
it was a msg from zana.
how it touched me..
i cant describe.
thanks babe.
u made my day somehow.
:)

i'm now in the class
was an hour late.
eventhough i woke up at 530 am.
greeted by 1 missed call and 1 msg from bf.
it was nottin.
dont you worry.
i'm fine and strong.
but thanks anywae for the concern.
:)

shall update more later...

haha..

2008-02-26T00:28:00.000-08:00

i just wannna sleeep and never wake up.

loads of proving to do.
but again..
it really doesnt matter.
i'm beginning to lose faith in myself and wadever i do.

i'm tired
tired of all thish shitz and crapz.
tired of people not believing in me.
like so what??
do i sound b*tchy??
whatever okie??
whatever dat makes everybody happpy.

i'm taking the blame for everything.
taking the blame that it was my manager who does the mistake.
taking the blame if you guyz have gotten lower grades for HRA.
taking the blame for giving wal hope.
taking the blame for being ''maniser''.
taking the blame for being stupid.
taking the blame for fahmy cheating on me 7 tymes in our 2years relationship.
taking the blame for ruiining nazmi's life.
taking the blame for being a fcuked up friend.
taking the blame for being who am i today, now, past..
my fault.

can i sleep and never wake up??
i wish i could.
goodnyte.

12.10am

2008-02-23T15:19:00.000-08:00

yesterdae.

been spending my past two days with oni.

was like the official date for us on the 21st.

the tyme ive spent with you is always simple

yet memorable.

words cant describe.

i love exploring with you.

going to places that i havent been before.

all with you!!!

we ended our day at kent ridge park.

love the view and love the wind.

so cold yet so warm.

haha, 12.1o am ekh.

i wont forget.

your promises.

keke..

i'm so happy with you.

ps. i love your smile and dimples deepdeep.

overduephotos

2008-02-23T14:48:00.000-08:00

here are the photos which i had promised.

sorrry...they are overdues.

**sheesha

me&oni*naz*kiki

gf&dearest akasha

cutie tong&me

dearest jannah&shir

shan heartz&me

sunshine&me

forever21

me&dearest

me&mimi!!

skudai last warning ekh!!!

thestoryofalittlesmallgirl

another entry :)

im sorrrrrrrrryyyyy

my day

my sunday.. :)

i love this song...

Muhammad Sharique

I LOVE ARIQUE SO MUCH =)

hatred3, where is the love??

i miss you

arique baby

updates..

arique

...

i love you

life is beautiful

fcuking pissed

haaaaappppyyyyyy!!!

FAZ LOVES ONI

my sunday

my saturday

my saturday&sunday

my thursday (late entry)

sweeets

my saturday+++

im officially tired.

g i r a f a

3 days entries, all jumbled up!!!

my saturday =)

thish entry goes out to naz (with much love)

yesterday =)

today =)

the 4th day

a day with oni....

random

my sunday

great great great day

FORGING STRONG FRIENDSHIP TOGETHER =)

to my hearts&love

IRRIT!

----

sharique, aunty loves you =)

million apologise

bad day

=)

shisha

bike-wash

shagggeeeddd!!!

feedback

BRIGHTENED UP

ahw..

haha..

12.10am

**overduephotos**

overduephotos